Being a parent is difficult no matter the age of our children. We’re not given a book on how to instinctively parent, but we’re still expected to succeed, to guide our children towards independence, for them to adapt comfortably in their world.
As a parent, there is no doubt that every age is a concern. We concern ourselves over our children’s future, whether they’ll cope in school, with friends and whether they’ll be successful. We concern ourselves even more, when they eventually leave home.
Parenting isn’t always about separation or control. Generally, when it comes to being on our own it’s not always easy to understand how to cope or make decisions. It’s often the things that inevitably go wrong that we’re not always prepared for that we may struggle with. When things go right, it’s not something we have to think about.
Life doesn’t teach us how to cope with the things that go wrong, experience does, by which time it’s often too late to understand how to deal with those things. It’s a parent’s job to instil the foundations including values in their children, so that their children come to understand what they need to do to live independent lives, whilst learning how to deal with their problems.
For a parent, it’s also about making sure their children are safe and are adjusting into their new lives away from home. Unfortunately, without continuous communication, parents end up having to read between the lines and that brings about worry and concern.
It’s about adjustment on both sides and finding a balance that works, whilst leaving the door open on both sides to connect.