Being a parent is difficult no matter the age of our children. We’re not given a book on how to instinctively parent, but we’re still expected to succeed, to guide our children towards independence, for them to adapt comfortably in their world.

As a parent, there is no doubt that every age is a concern. We concern ourselves over our children’s future, whether they’ll cope in school, with friends and whether they’ll be successful. We concern ourselves even more, when they eventually leave home.

Parenting isn’t always about separation or control. Generally, when it comes to being on our own it’s not always easy to understand how to cope or make decisions. It’s often the things that inevitably go wrong that we’re not always prepared for that we may struggle with. When things go right, it’s not something we have to think about.

Life doesn’t teach us how to cope with the things that go wrong, experience does, by which time it’s often too late to understand how to deal with those things. It’s a parent’s job to instil the foundations including values in their children, so that their children come to understand what they need to do to live independent lives, whilst learning how to deal with their problems.

For a parent, it’s also about making sure their children are safe and are adjusting into their new lives away from home. Unfortunately, without continuous communication, parents end up having to read between the lines and that brings about worry and concern.

It’s about adjustment on both sides and finding a balance that works, whilst leaving the door open on both sides to connect.

5 Mar, 2016

6 thoughts on “Parenting

  1. This is a really excellent blog. For me you have nailed the key role of parenting nicely.

    To selflessly give your child the stability, responsibility and confidence to grow into mature adults in a difficult world. And for me, a parents responsibility is forever, although that can be difficult for the child.

    1. Thank you! Yes children tend to see their parents role differently than perhaps our generation did, but as they say once a parent, always a parent.

      The irony is that regardless of what a child thinks, a parents’ role carries on whether children live at home or not and my original thoughts in my blog still stand.

  2. This is a wonderful blog!! I should have probably replied on the enormously proud blog but this is great!

    I hate to admit that because of my disability and my children’s behavior, I’ve needed help from family with my kids. My parenting techniques are still valued in the home, but because of the disability I have, my daughters have taken advantage of that.

    1. Thanks Bonnie! I think you know what I’m already going to say, that this isn’t about you.

      The way our children behave is about them; nothing you’ve done, unless there was no discipline by you, in the home and they chose to simply ignore you. We all make choices. Your children are making their choices by not doing what you ask and is the reason why you need help from your family.

      What we deal with as individuals should have nothing to do with the way children behave. Anyone taking advantage, says a lot about those taking advantage and nothing about the person they’re taking advantage of.

  3. Well thank you Ilana! As most parents do, I want what’s best for my kids. I can’t let them run a muck.

    If they get upset and want to run off they know mom can’t run after them, or want to get mouthy. So my family has stepped up to help. I thought I could do it on my own.

    It was hard to ask for help from anyone, but especially family.

    1. We become independent and we want to stay independent. It’s hard going back to being slightly dependent because we have something that we deal with, which makes life slightly more difficult for us.

      Once your children are old enough and come to understand life better and their roles better, I am sure they will begin to see you differently. Whilst you continue to discipline, you’re sewing a seed. That seed is so important for any future foundations.

      As parents, it’s hard to watch the process, but I believe with the right foundations in place, they will eventually find their way back, as long as your parents continue to follow your lead.

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