When someone does something that hurts us, it’s easy to see why we would hate that person. Perhaps what we should be solely thinking is, ‘I hate what you’ve done.’
We can hate what someone does, particularly if what they’ve done leaves us in a bad emotional space, but it’s important we don’t come to hate, because we will spend a lifetime notching up hate, particularly as hate tends to spill over into other areas of our lives. Hate never stops where it starts.
Through other people’s actions we come to form opinions on them. Although what they do, often reflects their actions, it’s usually because they’re in a bad head space themselves. How someone behaves is based on their actions and there is no excuse.
For example, when we have someone in our life who deals with a personality disorder or a mental illness, we’re dealing with someone, who in other circumstances away from what they deal with, will think and feel differently about themselves and their life, when they’re in a better head space.
It’s important we learn to separate the issues so that when someone does something, we’re looking at their actions and berating their actions, rather than them as a person. When we separate the person from his or her actions, we will always separate them from their actions.
Perhaps we should try to separate how we feel about someone, but try not to hate. When we hate, we will spend a lifetime of hate.