People’s expectations

From the minute we’re born, expectations are put upon us. For some of us, expectations are about education, for others expectations are about their children getting married, settling down.

Like an underlying current, expectations continue to envelop as we grow. Communities, parents and school, all have expectations. It’s become a generation and cultural thing. Society expects us to teach our children how to behave, it expects them to reach certain standards. Children are also expected to know about values and morals too.

Because expectations have become part of the bigger picture and are commonplace in society, expectations  have become part of our DNA now. We’re not only expected to conform, but we’re also expected to conform. For many, expectations are well intentioned but they can have a negative effect on us, as it serves to do the opposite.

If we fail to live up to other people’s expectations that can impact us emotionally too. Because of other people’s expectations we may fail to meet our own expectations, or may not even know what those are.  It’s not only tiring and counter-productive, but it can also have a negative impact on us.

As long as we do our best that should be enough. Of course, without the pressures and other people’s expectations, we should always choose to give of our best.

30 Nov, 2012

4 thoughts on “People’s expectations

  1. I agree with you. When we’re born or before we’re born, we are bombarded with expectations. I didn’t put expectations on my daughter, I just wanted her to be herself and be happy.

    I don’t know if expectations were put on me. I don’t remember my parents pushing me to go to college and do anything with my life. I do know that when I finished nursing school my dad ask me if I was sure I wanted to be a nurse. He always thought I would do something in the arts, like dance or sing. But I know he was proud of me being a nurse.

    I surprised my parents with all I did, because with the diagnosis of diabetes they didn’t expect me to be able to do much at all, if live a long life.

    When I was diagnosed diabetes was awful to have and the doctors didn’t give my parents much hope, so I guess they thought I wouldn’t make it as far as I have. Not having expectations put on me made me feel bad. My parents had great expectations for my sister who was very healthy and smart. So I felt a little like the underdog.

    I think maybe we should put some expectations on our children like to do the best they can and be happy. I don’t think society should judge parents if their kids don’t meet the society expectations, but parents should teach their children how to act and to know right from wrong and the parents should also act the way they want their kids to act. Children pick up a lot from them.

    1. Perhaps you felt bad Lisa because your sister had all the expectations put upon her and you had none.

      If your parents hadn’t put any expectations on either of you, I am sure you will have been okay about not having any. When we’re made to feel different we feel bad about being different. Being singled out will always come at a price.

      I believe that children with the right support and encouragement will always try to do well. It’s the nature of support, but that outside influences through school and society as a whole will sometimes have an affect on them.

      Generally speaking, it goes without saying that parents want their children to be happy, but for me I’m not sure I see that as an expectation, more of a wish that my children will be happy.

      You’re right to want that. It’s what any parent should want. Thanks Lisa.

  2. Because of my CP my route after high school (college) was pretty much decided on by other people.

    If I had known what I know now, I would have chosen to work with people that are disabled. That job gave me great satisfaction and joy. I had the privilege of doing that for only 9 months but I loved it.

    1. I think back then not a lot was known about CP. It’s good that times have changed because the majority of people have different expectations of people with CP now.

      As you say helping out with disabled people gave you a lot of satisfaction and joy. I don’t see why you couldn’t think about going back into it. Even if you were to draw blanks at least you know you’ve tried.

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