Personality characteristics

According to ‘personality type theories,’ the individual’s type is inborn and doesn’t change, but as individuals we can develop habits and personality traits that can contradict the description of our type. That’s accepted.

The environment we grow up in shapes our personality in a certain way that forces us to develop certain personality traits that may contradict our type. By taking ourselves out of our environment, living an uncluttered life, going back to basics on our understanding of what life means and being an independent thinker can reshape our personalities and how we see our world.

We get to change certain outward aspects of our personality that we’re not happy with. By changing certain aspects, we strengthen our soul traits that allows us to become more well-rounded individuals. It’s not enough for us to rely on our environment, or our early influences and put everything down to our early life.

That’s a cop-out because we can change the way we look at our experiences, that is our choice. That where we were angry, we can work on the anger, that where we’re self-absorbed, we can become come less self-absorbed, more outward looking and therefore more helpful. Where we have no patience or empathy, we can learn how to acquire patience and empathy.

That just because we also have no compassion or tolerance, doesn’t mean we can’t learn and practice the art of compassion or tolerance. We’re not born knowing, but through our experiences, we can remould certain aspects of us, so that we fit into the life we want to live and how we want to live.

Where our ‘personality type’ refers to the psychological classification, our personality refers to the individual and the identity we create for ourselves. Our personality type is something we’re born with and that doesn’t change because that comes from the soul.

But when it comes to our personalities, certain aspects of our personality can change, I have proved it. We just have to want to change, to become better people.


30 Apr, 2018

4 thoughts on “Personality characteristics

  1. I like that the message in this blog is that we can change where we are and that we don’t have to hide behind our upbringing or whatever else we make for an excuse.

    I believe that we have choices and as you say we must want to change to implement those choices.

    1. Thanks. Yes we can. But we spend a lifetime telling or convincing ourselves we can’t. As I have shown, we can. Without change, I couldn’t do what I do with my blogs, or the Diary.

      And we can’t. Somewhere along the line we have to accept that we are responsible for our life, post childhood. To continue to blame, only serves to keep us stuck, for good.

  2. “As the twig is bent, so grows the tree.” At 60, I’m finally (and skeptically) talking to a counselor regarding my tendency to be, as he says, ‘insular.’

    I am a nice enough person; I choose to be empathetic, and patient. I’m not angry, although my counselor seems to feel there must be anger in here and that I’m just choosing to suppress it.

    My whole life I’ve been an introvert; not shy, introverted, with a capital IN. As I’m getting older, it’s leaning more and more toward reclusive. He feels it stems from my childhood experiences and family dynamics. Some of it may be the way I’m wired. Shortly be she passed away, my mother had mentioned her and dad were worried about me when I was little – basically for reduced affect.

    I’ve mostly never bought into the ‘nurture’ side of the nature vs nurture argument for a person’s personality, it’s always smacked of excuse-making. I’ve come to realize though, that while I have controlled my behavior over the years, my basic personality has not changed. As a result, I have no real friends, and I’m okay with that.

    I get along with my colleagues at work (mostly), but there is literally no one I hang with or call once I leave the office. The wife and kids still living at home, are my social circle, period and I do not feel a lack.

    One thing I am seeing in myself as I work with this counselor, is that the effect of my childhood has been inescapable. Yes, I can choose to be a better person, but only in how I act or react to the world.

    The early influences on my personality, self-esteem, confidence and the way I connect with the world or others remain strongly coloured by those early experiences.

    I can change my behavior, but I cannot escape who I am.

    1. Hi Dave and welcome to the site. Yes, you’re absolutely right when you say, ‘I can change my behaviour, but I cannot escape who I am.

      Who you are comes from the soul, an imprint you’re born with that doesn’t change the inner workings of how you’re born, but outwardly we all get to change our behaviour. We just have to want to.

      As a child I had all the hallmarkings of being angry. I dealt with anger issues throughout my formative years, brought about through emotional neglect and abuse. It was in my thirties that I got to take a long look at my life, where I was at and why I presented a certain way. Looking back, it’s clear I was also dealing with anxiety that I didn’t know I had.

      Working on ourselves is difficult, (it would be like looking in the mirror and coming face to face with yourself) and that’s not easy, but it is rewarding once we’ve done it, because it helps us see that our ‘issues’ aren’t about us, but about other people’s issues of us. And that’s not the same thing.

      Counselling can be good because someone else is listening and that’s half the battle for us, but remember to continue to link what they say back to your own thoughts and feelings about what you deal with; otherwise it’s just a conversation.

      The CP Diary has 8 years of blogs pertaining to my own experiences, which will also help you understand your life more. I’d love you to come back and share your experiences and participate in The CP Diary community.

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