Playing the victim

The term victim is used to describe someone who suffers from a destructive or injurious action, but I believe there are more explanations than that. Being a victim means someone else is calling the shots; being a victim may not always result from injury or abuse.

But how many of us remain the victim because we don’t know how to change? We can be a victim of circumstance, a victim of our own success, a victim of childhood, anything that changes the way we were, to the way we are now.

When we make excuses, we play the victim card, for example, “I would work harder at my job if I was given a wage rise,” or “I’m stingy with money because my family made me like that.” We tend to define our roles and stay within those roles, but where some of us will break the stigma attached to those roles, others will stay in them and continue to play the victim card. Many of us don’t even know we’re doing it, but when we continue to blame others, we become the victim.

Thinking we are the victim is normally associated with frustration and hopelessness. We often tell ourselves we can’t do anything about our situation. But we can; once we recognise and understand we need to change, we will find ways of moving on from it.


22 Feb, 2011

6 thoughts on “Playing the victim

  1. This is a really good post. It is so important that we can learn to take a step back and look our lives in this way, as it is only then that we can take the first steps in what might be a long road to addressing our issues.

    No one should look at themselves as the victim as it is very negative to do so. It is rare that we harm ourselves emotionally without someone/something else to trigger that behaviour.

    In that respect no one is a victim; it is the perpetrator who is the victim even, if they would like us to take that role.

    1. There is truth to what you say, but it’s not something we see in ourselves that easily.

      If someone told us we were a victim we would see it, because we are told that is what we are, but those people who fill that role will not see themselves as one.

  2. I will never be a victim. I have some times felt sorry for myself but not for long.

    I pick myself up and go on, because that is what a person has to do to survive. Feeling sorry for yourself is not going to help one gain strength.

    I refuse to be a victim I am better than that.

    1. I understand your sentiments Randy, but not everyone is in a position to be able to think like you.

      I think if we all were, life would be better for the majority of us.

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