The day we become assertive is the day our life changes, is the day we take control back, is the day other people’s lives become harder, is the day our stress levels become reduced. It changed my life.
Not being assertive enough, can make us feel powerless to control things in our life. Not being assertive enough can lead us being less content in ourselves and that can lead to feelings of frustration and anger, which adds to more stress. By us taking control of our lives, we become more assertive. To reduce stress further, we must also learn to change the way we think about things by bringing understanding into the equation.
Being assertive doesn’t mean walking over people. Being assertive simply means addressing our own needs so that we’re able to live our lives productively in the way we choose to live. But that doesn’t mean we can’t take advice from others. That can still happen, but what it means is we have the final say on our decisions.
Being assertive also means that we stop others from bullying or coercing us into doing things we don’t want to do. In the longer term if we’re not assertive enough, we will either become passive or aggressive. Being passive doesn’t work because it means others will try to control us when we fail to stand up for ourselves, and on occasions it may also mean the pendulum swinging too far the other way, when we become aggressive as a result.
It is important we learn how to handle people in a balanced way without the pendulum being swung to far the other way, with us becoming ‘passive aggressive.’
But I believe we can achieve more by bringing understanding to the table. When we come to understand other people’s reactions and can reconcile where we are and how we got to where we are, we are less likely to retaliate and that reduces stress.