Root of Unhappiness

Too many expectations will always be the root of our unhappiness. People live with expectations placed on them every single day. As small child, parents have expectations that their children will achieve and will do well.

Through institutions like school, expectations are placed on parents for their children to do well. With realistic expectations of what we can expect, what we want to happen, we continue to place expectations on each other, in how we want things to go and what we want to get out of those things,

But the further away we are from our realities, the more disappointed we will be. Realities are what lives are based on and yet we may run from those when things become too difficult for us to deal with.

With expectations the pressure is already on and that will always be the ‘root of unhappiness.’ Expectations are based on ideals. Not putting the pressure on yourself or others, just being okay with things and going with the flow, is the way to go.

When we learn not to expect, we will never be disappointed. Don’t feel pressured into doing something just because it’s expected. In families, around culture it is important we continue to choose how we want to live.

Expectations will always be the root cause of our unhappiness, particularly when they’re someone else’s. On our part, it’s important any expectations don’t gradually slide into a sense of entitlement, because that will definitely be the root of our unhappiness.


24 Feb, 2021

4 thoughts on “Root of Unhappiness

  1. Well, that definitely seems to be the truth, my expectations have always gotten me into trouble. I was raised in a world, where my mother expected me to make her happy, but also punished me when I wasn’t able to do so.

    It is no wonder that I kept getting into the same kind of toxic relationships with women that I could never make happy no matter what.

    My girlfriend keeps reminding me of an Al Anon expression, ‘expect delay and you’ll never be disappointed,’ which does seem to help out.

    My expectations are pretty low, I’ll be happy with the little things. I’m never sure of what to expect, but I just want the people I care about to be happy.

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes, there is nothing wrong with wanting the people you care about to be happy.

      Childhood is very much the catalyst of people’s unhappiness but not everyone will understand this is where unhappiness stems from.

      We very often put our unhappiness down to what is happening to us presently and whilst that may be true, it’s a symptom, but not always the cause.

  2. We tend to look for happiness by seeking out what makes others happy and we then find those things don’t make us happy at all.

    Perhaps we should start by looking back at what made us happy as children – no expectations, just simple things.

    My guess is, if it made you happy then, it’ll probably make you happy now.

    1. Thanks. Yes, those who try to please others, thinking it will make them happy, often find it never will. The less we have the happier we are, but we need to also learn to deal with our concerns or worries.

      Even from an early age, children are expected to do well and conform. When it comes to it, although this won’t apply to all children, I wonder how many children really remember their childhood in that way.

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