Self-doubt & self-belief

Unfortunately, self-doubt will not only affect our character and the way we live our lives, but it will also eat into our very core, into our soul.

It also has power over us until we take its power back, zap our confidence and take away reason and logic from our thinking and turn what little confidence we have into fear and insecurity. Self-doubt isn’t something we consciously think about, but we will soon know if we are struggling with it.

It takes a different thought process to turn self-doubt into confidence, but once we have learned how to bring understanding into the equation, we will begin to believe in ourselves more. We will continue to live with self-doubt when we carry guilt, particularly other people’s guilt.

Self-doubt tends to settle where negativity sets in and negativity sets in when we’re feeling anxious or stressed. As a consequence, we will always struggle to feel good about ourselves. To change self-doubt and turn it into confidence, we must rationale our thoughts so that we begin to understand the feelings we have when we’re anxious and stressed.

Like anything in life, it’s a choice we make, but perhaps we must learn to believe in ourselves more and not allow ourselves to be sucked into self-pity and feelings of self-doubt. We must start looking at our lives a little more, look at the part we play, what issues are ours and what issues clearly belong to others.

We must be happy to accept those and then learn to understand how we can change things. When we have mastered those things, we can take self-doubt out of the equation. In order to build ourselves back up again, we need to use self-belief as a tool.

15 Jun, 2016

6 thoughts on “Self-doubt & self-belief

  1. I am fortunate to be a reasonably confident person and I seldom doubt myself.

    A few years ago, however I went through a time of not being able to make decisions, worry and questioning. That was a horrible time for me, as I could see myself slipping into a place alien to me.

    I was able to see this and made a positive decision to pull myself away from the brink. I can recall the feelings of helplessness from that time and can empathise with anyone who lives with those feelings; but I would add the power to change is in all of us.

    1. Thank you. Yes, your last sentence is what sums up your response nicely. I also believe we all have the power to change. It’s innately inherent; but not always something we think about or believe.

      Life tends to get in the way. Issues present themselves; for some more than others and the cycle continues. As you said yourself, you could see yourself slipping.

      I believe we’re aware. The problem is that we’re not always sure how to deal with things so we spiral or slip further.

  2. Self-doubt is something that my mother helped to instil in the back of my mind. I stopped fighting to do things that I wanted to do after she broke my spirit. She made me feel like I wasn’t worthy or capable of doing anything since I couldn’t make her happy.

    It was very sick and twisted considering I was her son, not her boyfriend or husband. I can feel that all too familiar knot in my gut when I even think about it; but I know I have to deal with it if I ever want to get beyond it. I was triggered a couple of days ago when I went to an ACOA meeting near where I used to live and saw the place where we used to live.

    Hard to believe it has been so long, but feels like it all just happened yesterday. It reminds me that parents aren’t supposed to tear their children down; but help them build them up so they can believe in themselves. I ended up feeling like nothing I did would ever matter, so I did nothing.

    I became afraid to do anything to fulfill my own dreams, since I wasn’t worthy! I don’t think she ever really even knew how much damage she did, considering the extent of her mental health issues. They said she had the mentality of a 10 year old when she was in the psychiatric ward, before her nursing home and things made sense. She was pretty much a little girl who shouldn’t have ever had children.

    I’m trying not to be angry and resentful but some days are better than others. Only lately have I been reminded of the skills that I do have. It’s pretty amazing that I can watch videos of people fixing things and be able to duplicate the process after a few tries. I’ve managed to fix a dryer and replace parts on a car that I had no idea how to do before.

    It has helped tremendously with my self-belief and knowing what I am capable of doing it, if I put my mind to it. I have felt very stupid most of my life, but this only serves to remind me that I’m not.

    I think I can finally work on fulfilling some of the dreams I once had.

    1. Thanks Randy. I know that you can finally work on fulfilling some of your dreams. You have to believe you can and will. You’ve come so far not to.

      You’ve also shown you’re completely capable. I think sometimes we must push forward and feel the fear. Not to paralyses us and keeps us stuck.

  3. I rarely doubt myself if I genuinely want to do something. But If I appear too confident, I risk being seen as intimidating.

    1. Thanks Tim. I’m pleased you don’t struggle with self-doubt because it can be very debilitating.

      I believe it’s important we find a balance so that people don’t think we’re either too cocky, or being perceived as too confident. There is always a balance we can achieve.

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