Self-inflicting limitations

15 May 2016

The way we see and interpret our life through culture and society, means we set our own limitations and that’s what we continue to do.

The environment, what is expected of us, how we’re expected to live can make us somewhat narrow-minded and daily that is exactly how we continue to live. By having rules that we are expected to live by, we automatically create boundaries for ourselves.

It is those boundaries that narrow our view of the world and the environment in which we live. Not only do those boundaries narrow our view, but they also limit our course of action and options that we could have taken. The sad reality is that most of us will waste a lifetime living with self-inflicting limitations, until such a time we wake up.

Some of us wake up far too late to do anything about it, others never wake up at all and instead continue to unconsciously blame and think their limitations are other people’s issues. My limitations weren’t so much self-inflicted, but inflicted on me through others on how they saw and wanted me to live my life.

If we’re prepared to dip our toes or take the blinkers off, we will see more of how we should live, as opposed to how we live. How we got to that place isn’t something we can change, but we can change where we go from here.

It’s often only when we look back, or hit rock bottom that we begin to see patterns emerging of how limited our perceptions are and that sometimes brings change.

6 Responses to “Self-inflicting limitations”

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  1. Brad 15. May, 2016 at 4:17 pm #

    We all live within self-imposed boundaries which consciously and unconsciously serve to provide a context for our lives.

    It is important that we take a step back every once in a while to reassess the relevance of those boundaries, to circumstances at the time and sometimes change is required.

    Sometimes the required change is appropriate but there may also be very good reason why it is not. The important thing is that the reassessment process is a continual, life long part of our lives.

    • Ilana 15. May, 2016 at 4:27 pm #

      Yes, we tend to follow and continue to follow patterns that are unconsciously biased. Patterns that we take on from our childhoods that we never consciously think to change, based on our unconscious experiences.

      I agree with your thoughts, but would stop to question how many of us actually step back to reassess our boundaries, let alone life long patterns.

      I believe that in order to spiritually grow we must continue to evaluate our lives and look at ourselves, taking out all the things that lead us to a path of living with stress, frustration and anxiety and replace them with things that can elevate us further, without limiting ourselves.

      I agree with you that it is important that the reassessment process is a continual, life long part of our lives. Absolutely!

  2. Randy 15. May, 2016 at 5:45 pm #

    I was forced as a child to wear ‘blinders’ AND ‘rose colored glasses’ so I only saw things the way my parents wanted me to see them.

    They lived in such a highly dysfunctional chaotic world that we shouldn’t have ever been forced to be a part of. We were forced to carry so much of their guilt, shame and remorse that it’s no wonder that we didn’t know how to live our own lives.

    My Mother was an expert at making me feel so guilty for not worshipping the ground she walked on. She treated me like an emotional teddy bear,like I was supposed to fulfill her emotional needs that my father was unwilling to provide, which was wrong on so many levels! I ended up feeling more like a surrogate boyfriend rather than her son.

    I gave up on all of my dreams trying to make her happy, but nothing I ever did was good enough! She went out of her way to crush my soul and break my spirit which she did a very good job of. I tried breaking away from her in the physical sense, but her mental conditioning was still working very well, so it didn’t do me any good.

    I have spent most of my life feeling like I’m Not Worthy, when I actually deserved more than I ever got! She was a very sick woman who shouldn’t have ever had children.

    She didn’t even really know how to take care of herself, so the chances of her being able to take care of children was slim to none! It’s just sad that it’s so easy to produce children by people who very obviously shouldn’t.

    My own limitations have stemmed from choices I made when I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. There are things I am still highly ashamed of. Other people wouldn’t understand and would probably judge me very harshly.

    I will have to deal with those demons if the time ever comes, since I can’t spend the rest of my life hiding from the rest of the world. I have allowed others to control my life for far too long!

    I don’t want to have to spend what time I have left, still feeling like the world will end, if people really knew what it had been like!

    I never asked for any of my issues, so people can’t judge me for only being human. It would be fantastic if, for the first time in my life, I would actually know what that felt like.

    • Ilana 15. May, 2016 at 6:21 pm #

      Thanks Randy. Those who judge us tend to judge themselves. That’s normally the way it works. I tend not to hold too much importance on what other people think, just myself.

      On another note, it’s sad when our parents don’t get things right for their children and as a consequence their children begin to struggle with their own lives. Any self-inflicting limitations you struggled with Randy don’t belong to you.

      I think it sad that you had all of these things to deal with, but feel you’re more than strong enough to turn your life around. The biggest hurdle you’ve come through is your understanding and you’ve more than managed that.

      I’m pleased about that Randy.

  3. Tim 16. May, 2016 at 5:22 am #

    I’ve made some sickening decisions in my life, some of which haunts me to this very day. But I have only myself to blame, even though I know I didn’t know at the time. My limitations were definitely self-inflicted.

    Sometimes we think the world outside our own is too superior to handle, until we get that urge for self improvement.

    • Ilana 16. May, 2016 at 8:24 am #

      Thanks Tim. Honestly, I’m not sure how many of us get to that stage where we get the urge for self-improvement. I think there are many stages to work through to get to that stage.

      We must come to understand our life in its entirety, other people’s role in our decision making and how we got to that place. Look at the bigger picture. There comes a time though, when we have to take back control without apportioning blame and must look to ourselves for change, without sabotaging ourselves.

      When we can bring whole change I believe we will move away from those self-inflicting limitations we impose upon ourselves.

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