Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries is a practice of self-care. It means you’re taking care of what matters to you and because it’s the right thing to do.

It doesn’t mean others don’t matter, or that you don’t care about others, it means you matter enough to put yourself first. It means you care deeply, but respect must be at the foundation of all that you do.

We need boundaries so that we don’t run the risk of losing ourselves, not thinking about or knowing how we feel, also not thinking about what we want for ourselves.

We need boundaries so we don’t allow other people to make decisions for us, so that we’re not manipulated because we fail to put limits on how others treat us, rather than us speak out. Setting boundaries means we take control.

Today it is even more important we set boundaries and stick with them. Prioritising yourself, your needs, setting your own boundaries and practising self-care means you’re sending a clear message out to say, it is not okay.

Where you put your needs last, those needs must come first. Making other people happy, and avoiding conflict because you’re continually try to save the peace, will only bring conflict back on to you.

You also have to remember that feeling guilty about setting yourself boundaries has nothing to do with guilt, it isn’t your guilt it’s theirs, which is why you set boundaries in the first place.


11 Jul, 2020

4 thoughts on “Setting Boundaries

  1. “Setting boundaries is a practice of self-care.” I couldn’t agree with you more. Not setting boundaries can leave you deeply wounded, if people object to that, so be it.

    1. Thanks Tim. Yes, it’s something we rarely do for fear of reprisal. But setting boundaries and sticking to those, is better in the longer term, particularly if you’re the subject of abuse.

      We shouldn’t care if we are the subject of abuse.

  2. As a child I had to set my own boundaries as my parents didn’t set any. My idea of boundaries was there weren’t any, but somehow I avoided getting into too much trouble.

    Although looking back I would be horrified if my children would have got up to half of what I did. All is well that ends well, as they say.

    1. So your boundaries became your parents’ boundaries, you didn’t have any. No boundaries can’t work, it would end in chaos, with you doing what you want when you want, which works for you, but fast forward to being ‘grown up’ and you become untouchable.

      Boundaries are rules that need implementing if people are to work together successfully.

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