Settling for second best

We mustn’t settle for second best and yet that is exactly what we do, what some of us have always done. It’s not that we consciously set out to think about being second best, but it’s often how we see or treat ourselves.

When we undermine our abilities, when we undersell ourselves, when we allow others to think they’re better than us and when we allow others to control us, we’re settling for second best. When we also settle for things that undermine our abilities, we will end up settling for second best.

In the end, it’s that what we become, it’s what we expect from ourselves, it’s what we do.


12 Apr, 2016

4 thoughts on “Settling for second best

  1. Wow, that is actually what I have been thinking about lately that I have settled most of my life and not even usually second best, but bottom of the barrel!

    I have always allowed others to control my life and I’m still doing it now. I haven’t come anywhere near to accomplishing my full potential which has truly been a shame. I have to accept that I allowed it to happen mostly because I really didn’t feel like I deserved any better.

    There are still many things I can do with the time I have left, but I just have to remember that from day-to-day. I have watched so many people waste their potential and complaining about it when I was doing the same exact thing!

    This is when the expression, ‘you live what you know,’ comes to mind. If you have always been forced to accept less than, you won’t expect to get any different! What other people call dysfunctional, becomes what we consider to be normal, which people don’t get!

    It’s similar dynamics to what happens to war veterans who are in the fight for so long that they get accustomed to it and have such a hard time going back into civilian life. (I know that’s why I can identify with them so much at times.)

    It would be fantastic at my age to know what it’s like to not always have to settle for second best when I always have!

    1. Thanks Randy. I’m not sure we allow it, more a case of it is what it is. In our formative years, we don’t make choices, our choices are made for us.

      When we live dysfunctional lives, it’s much harder to live the life we want and tend to settle for second best, because we think that’s what we deserve.

      When we can bring awareness into the equation, we can slowly change certain aspects of our lives. The changes we go on to make don’t have to be massive changes.

      I believe through some of our worst experiences we slowly learn how to change things and will then be less likely to want to settle for second best.

  2. I remember wanting things I couldn’t have, as my virgin eyes saw everything greener on the other side. But when I experienced life and came full circle, I found that second best was the best all along.

    1. Great analogy Tim. We’re human it’s what we do, badly sometimes; until we learn, then our perceptions change.

      We get better at the understanding life part and then everything changes.

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