Bullying is a form of abuse. It’s not always obvious when it’s a bad tone and that’s the reason why we fail to see that tone is in fact abuse.
When it comes to bullying, we must be aware of what form bullying takes, or what the other person’s tactics are. We must become adept at noticing and building our own foundations with responses that works.
It’s also important we understand the intensity of the bully’s tactics, what the bully says and how we differentiate between a person who bullies and a person who doesn’t. The way we respond to a bully and stay alert, is also the difference between being in control and not being in control. It’s important we learn to respond in a way that allows us to take control.
Responding to bully tactics is never easy, particularly when we’re not ready for what comes back. It can happen in any scenario, at work, in the dentist’s chair, at home, anywhere. Sadly, responding is a skill that can go horribly wrong if we’re not fully aware of how to respond. Unless we grasp the nature of the situation, our attempts to respond may fail and in some circumstances, can make things worse.
Failing to take control also allows the bully to continue to bully, not only with us but with other people too. Defending our corner is a skill, but first we must learn to master the fundamentals of how to deal with confronting a bully. We must understand the basics of defending ourselves. We must be aware, know the situation and be prepared to respond quickly and appropriately.
Unfortunately, when we’re not expecting, we’re not prepared or ready to handle the situation. Having been around bullying behaviour for most of my life, I believe it becomes obvious after a while that is what is being presented, even if it’s not obvious in the beginning.
When a person is harsh, says unkind things, is mean, cruel, overbearing, intimidating, dominating and chooses control as a form of communication, you are dealing with a bully. A bully doesn’t hide.
When it comes to someone who has a bad day that may use harsh language, it’s usually a one off and that’s how you know the difference.