Signs of bullying

Bullying is a form of abuse. It’s not always obvious when it’s a bad tone and that’s the reason why we fail to see that tone is in fact abuse.

When it comes to bullying, we must be aware of what form bullying takes, or what the other person’s tactics are. We must become adept at noticing and building our own foundations with responses that works.

It’s also important we understand the intensity of the bully’s tactics, what the bully says and how we differentiate between a person who bullies and a person who doesn’t. The way we respond to a bully and stay alert, is also the difference between being in control and not being in control. It’s important we learn to respond in a way that allows us to take control.

Responding to bully tactics is never easy, particularly when we’re not ready for what comes back. It can happen in any scenario, at work, in the dentist’s chair, at home, anywhere. Sadly, responding is a skill that can go horribly wrong if we’re not fully aware of how to respond. Unless we grasp the nature of the situation, our attempts to respond may fail and in some circumstances, can make things worse.

Failing to take control also allows the bully to continue to bully, not only with us but with other people too. Defending our corner is a skill, but first we must learn to master the fundamentals of how to deal with confronting a bully. We must understand the basics of defending ourselves. We must be aware, know the situation and be prepared to respond quickly and appropriately.

Unfortunately, when we’re not expecting, we’re not prepared or ready to handle the situation. Having been around bullying behaviour for most of my life, I believe it becomes obvious after a while that is what is being presented, even if it’s not obvious in the beginning.

When a person is harsh, says unkind things, is mean, cruel, overbearing, intimidating, dominating and chooses control as a form of communication, you are dealing with a bully. A bully doesn’t hide.

When it comes to someone who has a bad day that may use harsh language, it’s usually a one off and that’s how you know the difference.


20 Jan, 2017

4 thoughts on “Signs of bullying

  1. This is something I have a lot of experience with and one of the many reasons I am the way that I am. The worst one of all happened to be my mother who used her passive-aggressive tactics, like a champ to brainwash me and break my spirit.

    I was forced to deal with them from the age of 4, when a girl tried to crush my skull and I ended up having to wear glasses. They like to say that kids can be mean, but it’s more like they can be downright sadistic. I was only 4 and didn’t deserve to be treated so horribly, just because I had to wear glasses.

    I heard things like four eyes and so much worse repeatedly, on a daily basis to the point that I hated to go to school. Needless to say, I should have been able to develop boundaries to survive, but my mommie dearest didn’t seem to think I would need them.

    What I learned was ways to take the pain, versus fighting back since I was a scrawny little kid, probably from not being able to eat right. I have spent most of my life accepting that I was being treated horribly, but not feeling like I had the right to stand up for myself.

    I lost out on so many great opportunities to finally be happy, by allowing others to dictate how I should be living my life. Most people don’t have to deal with this issue so they don’t really get why anyone would put up with it.

    I’m only now starting to feel like it’s okay to live my own life.

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes it’s absolutely okay to live your own life. I believe it doesn’t matter how long it takes us to get to where we need to be with things, just as long as we get there.

      Recognising the signs of bullying is hard. We all have a right to stand up for ourselves, but it’s often how we’re made to feel that stops us from recognising the signs of being bullied or ‘under the thumb,’ because it’s not always obvious.

      Unfortunately, bullying isn’t just a childhood thing, It’s an adult thing too, but I do believe it’s not always obvious to the untrained eye. It’s often only when we look back that we see and understand it.

  2. The best advice I can give is to never let a bully take you to a place you don’t want to visit, a place that you may never leave; like jumping into the deep end of someone else’s misery.

    So take a deep breath and approach a bully from several angles. Just make sure you’re smart enough not to get in trouble and wise enough to let Karma do most of the fighting for you.

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