Supportive relationships

Finding the right support is the key to lifting Depression and keeping it away, but dealing with Depression can be difficult when it comes to helping us maintain a positive perspective, for us to keep up the effort required to come through it.

Loneliness and isolation can make Depression worse, so keeping up with close relationships and contributing to social activities are both very important. If it helps, don’t be put off by reaching out to close family or friends, because not reaching out could leave us even more isolated.

Sometimes we must push forward and feel the fear even if it take us out of our comfort zone. Perhaps join a support group for Depression. Talking to others who also suffer with depression will also help us see that others deal with what we deal with and that we’re not totally alone.

Groups give encouragement, whilst sharing experiences and offering support and advice. When we’re feeling depressed, it often feels more comfortable to shut ourselves off, but being around people can help us feel less depressed.

There are ways we can reach out. Call or e-mail a friend, go for a walk with someone you are happy to spend time with, talk to a therapist, have lunch or coffee with a trusted friend, take a class or join a club. Make some arrangements to go out for dinner; or just talk to someone you can trust about your feelings.

It stands to reason that when we’re feeling stronger, we can also give support back, but that may take some effort. Those are small steps. It doesn’t matter what or how long it takes though. All steps, however small are significant ones.


3 Jul, 2010

8 thoughts on “Supportive relationships

  1. Most people living with disabilities will have some type of depression and it can overwhelm you at times… this is a clinical fact! I have suffered depression for most of my life and it can make you feel so lonely… A good Doctor and the right meds will of course help, but you also have to learn strategies for coping and asking for support. As Ilana has stated, there are ways to reach-out and find help and support… the hardest thing to do is ask! The one thing that I learned to help me stay on-track was positive thinking! Its a practice that you can learn over time and it is drug-free. Reading positive stories and books and try going to art classes and paint big bright paintings on your own, as it’s a lot less expensive than buying them.

    Try to stay around positive people and the places where positive, happy people gather. Brighten up your home with bright colours, paintings and photos and trinkets that bring back happy times… See your glass as not half empty but to see it overflowing was a fantastic help for me…

    It may take a while to learn about your depression and getting the right medications, but there are some wonderful people around you that understand where you are, just have the courage to ask… “Don’t let depression manage your life, let your life manage your depression.”

    1. Mike you are very right in your understandings having been through depression yourself and I’m glad it worked for you. The key is having such a supportive network of friends and family, but not everyone is fortunate to have those kind of people in their lives, which is why they continue to live with depression and its symptoms.

      I also think that one has to get to that stage where they want to change their life because they hate how their life makes them feel. It has to come from the person fighting the depression, they have to see it for themselves.

      Once they have made the decision to change, there will be people who can help. Until then we just have to wait and let them know we are here to help.

  2. I agree with all of you. My problem is getting the will power to do it LOL. I’ve suffered with depression for a long time due to my health problems. I wasn’t accepted when I was in school cause everyone was afraid of my diabetes, so I dealt with it at a young age. I think even my family contributed by treating me differently than my sister. Its very hard for me and I don’t live close enough to friends to be able to go see them and usually they are busy with their own family, but since I’ve found friends on the internet to just talk to I’ve felt better and able to handle things differently. The depression is still there but it always will be. We (my husband and I) don’t go out much due to finances, (that’s a depressing subject, but we do have a few friends that we get together with occasionally. Sometimes I get to go and seem them, it depends on if I’m working the next day or not. Anyway Great post Ilana… and good reply Mike.

    1. I was also treated differently growing up because I was dealing with cerebral palsy. That gives you a totally different outlook on how you see yourself and can make you even more insecure. I lacked confidence both in and out of school.

      I too lived with depression, although looking back I see the signs now but didn’t understand it back then. I don’t believe anyone has to continue living with it. Changes can be made.

      When I started looking into what I struggled with as a child, I started taking back some form of control. I’m a lot happier for it. I think you can too.

      Start believing in yourself Lisa, you do a lot of good for people, particularly through your job. Surround yourself with people who care and support you and who want to be there for you and where you cannot do that, speak out so that they begin to care for you.

  3. I agree with everything that is being said here. Isolation is very bad for a depressed person. By all means go to a close friend or someone you trust, talk to them. It will make you feel better, otherwise you are going to be in that very dark place and lose hope. Above all don’t give up. Keep trying you will get out of it. I speak from experience here. It can happen. You can beat it.

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