Taking a look at ourselves

We can be in someone’s company and come out feeling tired and drained. We may never question why or how we can spend three or four hours in a friend’s company and then wish we hadn’t.

In hindsight, those times weren’t necessarily about us, but about those friends we chose to spend our time with. As our mood spirals, it makes our life so much harder. Our moods don’t always start with us. They start with someone else, then affects us; although the person struggling tends to think it’s us and not them.

Psychologists believe that when we interact with people, we do so by picking up on voice tones, body language and expressions. Our brain then responds to those feelings. This is exactly why we can empathise, stay impartial and are better equipped to help.

There are many drawbacks to these scenarios, particularly when those in our company begin to overpower us by their mood. It’s fine when they’re happy because their mood will have a positive effect on us, but not when they’re struggling.

This is one of the reasons why it’s important we surround ourselves with people who uplift us and don’t bring us down, even if that includes family.


9 Nov, 2010

4 thoughts on “Taking a look at ourselves

  1. I can relate to you today. We had a friend of mine stay with us last week and it turned into a nightmare for me. He had stayed in the past but, but the other times he was in a decent mood and so was I. This time it wasn’t that way and it made me very uncomfortable.

    I was actually physically ill after a day and it thankfully cut the visit short. This is a prime example of why I like to have an exit plan.

    If a friend is that way, one should exit as soon as possible.

    1. I tend to agree with you Brian.

      Our friends, although they probably don’t realise, can be very draining on our moral. You don’t say whether you were heading for illness when you cut your friend’s visit short, but stress around relationships can bring about illness. Glad you’re feeling better.

  2. Other people’s problems will bring a person down and if they’re in a good way lift us.

    I try not to complain. I see my cup half full as you do. I’ve got plenty to be thankful for and my health may be bad but at least I can function.

    I try not to bring others down and usually don’t say anything unless asked. I hope I don’t bring others down anyway.

    1. Llsa, it’s not something we are consciously aware of unless we’re thinking about our behaviour. There probably will be times where you’re negative depending on what you’re dealing with and times when you’re positive. I saw so much negativity around me as a child, I made a conscious effort to change that as an adult.

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