In my last journal, I talked about how we can sometimes feel drained and tired being in the company of people who are negative.
Below are some suggestions as to how we can make our life easier when we’re in negative company:
Know your conversation
Stop discussing anything that would seem diverse or personal that you’re not happy with. If the person you are talking to tries to engage you in conversation that may turn into a full-blown argument, leave the room or change the subject, if you can’t leave the room. If other people are with you, it may be more difficult to leave the room, but it will also be difficult for others to continue with the conversation.
Being able to communicate assertively is key. We mustn’t accept abusive behaviour and like children have boundaries, adults need boundaries too. Establish boundaries so that other people can’t talk in a way that you feel is totally inappropriate.
Talk to positive people
If you are speaking to more than one person, concentrate your energies on those in the group who you see as positive. That way you won’t come away from the conversation feeling drained. Also, be careful with whom you take into your confidence. If the person you’re speaking to generally gossips, make sure you keep your news to yourself.
Choose trustworthy and reliable
It’s important to make sure friends are good listeners, trustworthy and reliable. Being able to rely on those who have proven they’re good friends always helps. If you continue to struggle with negative thoughts and feelings, write those feelings down.
It’s important to accept the way people are, but they must do the same with us. If friends aren’t compassionate and attentive there’s no point in wishing they were, we must either accept that, or choose to see them less. We cannot change others, we can only change the way we perceive others.
It’s possible we can bring about change through our own personal beliefs. When in other people’s company, try to work on the way you handle myself. Trying to change others to believe what we believe invites criticism and defensive attitudes.