Taking it out on others

5 Feb 2016

We undermine, we belittle and bring other people down, because we struggle. It’s far easier to bring someone else down, than it is to bring ourselves up.

Whether we’re dealing with an issue, struggling with our past, or aren’t happy in our present, there can be no excuse for bringing other people down. The irony is that when we begin to cope better and raise our own game, we turn our attention to more positive things.

It’s usually people who live with resentment that take their anger out on others. They’re not happy so they don’t want others to be happy. The irony of course, is that when we come from a place of anger we will always choose to find fault with others.

It’s only when we come through the other end and we look back that we will see the value of those lessons. Lashing out is a way of releasing the hurt we feel. It’s often a cry for help. There will always be exceptions to that rule of course.

Unfortunately, those we’re lashing out at, are usually in the wrong place at the wrong time. That person for all intents and purposes, has just become another scapegoat.

4 Responses to “Taking it out on others”

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  1. Randy 05. Feb, 2016 at 1:52 pm #

    The expression, ‘hurt people, hurt people’ comes to mind when I think about this. They want other people to hurt like they do, even though it’s usually directed at the people who love them the most!

    I spent my childhood watching my parents take it out on each other, when they wouldn’t deal with what the real issues were. They showed us how to take it out on others, rather than work on what we needed to. There were always so many mixed messages on how to deal with things that it’s no wonder I was always so confused!

    I made a lot of bad choices based on the limited knowledge I had and have to learn how to forgive myself for only being human. You can see examples of it every day, with the trolls on sites like Facebook, where they try to make everyone else as miserable as they are!

    They spend all their time blaming this group, or those people for how much their lives suck, when they don’t want to do anything to change it. I have spent most of my life hanging on to old resentments and being angry about things I didn’t have, that I totally forgot about what I did have.

    The ones I hurt the most, weren’t the people I had the resentments against, it was the ones I loved the most and who loved me! The best I can really do now, is learn how to let those things go and make the best of what time I do have now.

    • Ilana 05. Feb, 2016 at 2:48 pm #

      Thanks Randy. I’ve never heard the expression, ‘hurt people, hurt people’ but what a great expression and how true.

      Unfortunately, relationships are such that people are bound to get hurt in one way or another, but can’t help but think unless someone does something to hurt us, I believe this type of scenario is completely avoidable just by us talking things through. Get our grievances out into the open.

      I have always chosen to go back in and sort things out rather than bottle those feelings up. As long as both parties are conciliatory, I believe issues can be sorted out.

      Not to of course, means we live with more resentment and animosity, which eventually builds up into even more resentment. What’s the point?

  2. Brad 07. Feb, 2016 at 8:46 am #

    Randy summarised this blog with “hurt people, hurt people.” It’s a simple message, we need look no further than to ourselves when we take out our misplaced anger on others.

    • Ilana 07. Feb, 2016 at 11:44 am #

      Thanks, yes but how many people will admit they do? In my lifetime, I’ve been the recipient of many angry people taking their frustrations and anger out on me.

      Whilst I understand people are angry with their lot, there is no excuse.

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