As children we may sometimes become victims, which if not dealt with can follow us into our adult years. Being a victim as a child is something we continue to be, primarily because we’re often left with little choice, find it difficult to change because we don’t always have the tools to change.
As an adult, although it’s also difficult to change, we do have more control over our thoughts and feelings, and it is through our thoughts and feelings that we can bring about change.
The following suggestions may help:
- This journey will be ongoing, but it can be a journey of new discoveries, which allows us to think new thoughts, where we can begin to see ourselves in a whole new light;
- We could write a daily list of all the good things we remember about situations or people we have been in contact with, who leave us with the feel-good factor. Keep adding to the list throughout the weeks. Hopefully this will encourage us to find a new appreciation of the world;
- We must try to deal with and move away from old thought patterns so that we no longer choose to blame someone else for how we are;
- We must also take back responsibility and start to introduce healthy boundaries and interactions. It’s important we avoid negative people and interact with people who put a positive slant on our life.
- If you’re not keen to let go altogether, avoid meeting up with negative people when you’re not so self-assured and when you need more positive interaction;
- Spending more time with positive people means we become attuned to being more positive. We will then no longer choose to spend time with those people who bring us or themselves down.
All that we believe in childhood is learned behaviour that we must unlearn and relearn. It’s about our resolve to move forward in our lives. Although decisions in our formative years are often made for us, there has to be a cut-off point where we need to start being responsible for ourselves.