As children we may sometimes become a victim, which if not dealt with can follow us into our adult years. Speaking from my own experiences, being a victim is something we continue to be, primarily because as a child we’re often left with little choice and find it difficult to change.
As the adult although it’s often difficult to change, we do have control over our thoughts and feelings and it is through our thoughts and feelings that we can bring about change.
The following suggestions may help:
- This journey will be on going, but it can be a journey of new discoveries, a journey that allows you to think new thoughts, where you can begin to see yourself in a whole new light;
- Write a daily list of all the good things you remember about situations or people you have been in contact with, who leave you with the feel-good factor. Keep adding to your list throughout the weeks. Hopefully this will encourage you to find a new appreciation of the world;
- Try to deal with and move away from your old thought patterns so that you no longer choose to blame someone else for how you are;
- Take back responsibility and start to introduce healthy boundaries and interactions. It’s important to avoid negative people and interact with people who put a positive slant on your life.
- If you’re not keen to let go altogether, avoid meeting up with negative people when you’re not so self-assured and when you need more positive interaction;
- Spending more time with positive people means we become attuned to being more positive. We will then no longer choose to spend time with those people who bring us down or bring themselves down.
All that we believe in childhood is learned behaviour that we must unlearn and relearn again. It’s about our resolve to want to move forward in our lives. Although decisions in our formative years are often made for us, there has to be a cut-off point where we need to be responsible for ourselves.