I’m not sure how many of us are aware of our responses when we talk or communicate with others, but this is something we could all improve on. How we respond, or speak to others is the most important thing we will do.
When we engage in defensive behaviour that’s destructive, others will feel threatened. Bad tones are designed to ward a person off from admiting responsibility for something they’ve done that they don’t want others to know about.
It’s not something we will get away with. People who act defensively are essentially trying to protect themselves from feeling uncomfortable, seeing themselves as a failure, or seeing themselves in a negative light.
First impressions count. Although we’re not always initially responsible for our lack of gracefulness, particularly in childhood, as the adult how we respond is down to us.
The right tones go a long way in every day conversations and can either make for a happy experience or a nightmare conversation others can’t wait to get away from. If we get the tone wrong, people will be more inclined to walk away, long before the conversation gets off the ground.
Generally, people seem to be more offended by our tones than by our language, but both are important. Although the language we use may be offensive, the tone we use is worse, because that is abuse.