The teenage years

The teenage years are the years we begin to notice and learn things about ourselves, a time when we begin to question ourselves, our existence and who we are.

It’s also a time when we’re our worst critic. But where life depends on how well we do as a teenager and it is a contributing factor to our success, it is primarily our attitude that will determine how well we cope as an adult.

But the adolescence years don’t come without its challenges. It’s important that through the adolescence years, teenagers are able to adopt a more consistent way of thinking and feeling, because that will determine how they choose to behave. Those years aren’t so straight forward because moving away from childhood into adolescence will always come with mixed emotions, and external forces that will always come into play.

Unless teenagers consciously make themselves ourselves aware of their traits, their traits will contribute to a wide range of outcomes later in life. With the right input and support, they can thrive in an environment of care, but it’s important teenagers are given space to grow and mature, so that they can go on to make their own decisions.

As we grow up it’s important we understand who we are. No amount of research can make up for what we deal with or what we come to experience and how we may react. We must learn about ourselves, but to do that we must put the hard work in.

As teenagers we must understand our parentage, our culture, our siblings, and all the external things we don’t consciously think about, because those are the things that will eventually become the catalyst for how we react.

And whilst stress has an impact on our personalities as we grow, it’s simply not good enough to rely or hide behind that. It’s important we continue to evolve and grow, so that we can succeed as the adult, in an adult world.


8 Oct, 2018

4 thoughts on “The teenage years

  1. My teenage years are a blur since I spent most of them partying and burnt out a lot of brain cells. I was trying to escape the nightmare that I was forced to live in, through my parents second divorce, which they should have done long before.

    I ended up deciding I should to do something with my life and ended up having the choice between the Job Corps and the Army. I should have chosen the Job Corps, seeing as I didn’t like following orders, which I didn’t realize until I was already in boot camp.

    The worst part was that I found out later on that my scores were high enough, so I could have become an officer and that was without even graduating from High School.

    Obviously with my childhood and mental health issues it didn’t end well, but I did go in at 17 and was ill equipped to do the job they were asking me to do.

    I didn’t have the chance to grow up into my own skin, seeing as I started drinking the summer I turned 12, so emotionally I was already trapped.

    Needless to say, I felt like a complete failure as a man and nobody ever really bothered to tell me any different, so I beat myself up mercilessly over it.

    I wanted not to end up being like my parents and ended up being just like my dad, who also failed at being in the Army and so much worse, at least in my mind.

    They always made it seem like we didn’t have many choices in life and had to just accept whatever woes befell us, so it’s no wonder I didn’t do very well.

    Only now after turning 50 do I realize what choices I have and how much I really can accomplish when I put my mind to it. I have done more in the past few months than I did, in so many of the previous years and it has been so liberating.

    I rescued my daughter from the nightmare that she was trapped in and even though that came back to blow up in my face, I managed to do it.

    I was able to travel to New Mexico and back, even with the amount of paralyzing agoraphobia I suffer from, for her sake. It was a major feat for me, even though she didn’t appreciate it in the end.

    This has led me to the conclusion that I need to stop wasting time trying to help those people who don’t appreciate my efforts and work with those who really do.

    My life is changing in ways that I haven’t imagined and I’m finally feeling free to be me.

    1. What matters is the deed Randy, regardless of the outcome. The way it works is that your daughter must reconcile her actions for herself.

      But you’ve come a long way since your teenage years. The fact that you managed the trip to New Mexico to help your daughter is a massive accomplishment.

      Not everyone will see small accomplishments as a success but it does really depend on your vantage point and what you’ve had to deal with.

      I don’t care that our accomplishments aren’t always the usual success stories. But this is one success story you can be proud of.

      It’s also not for anyone to judge. But hand on heart Randy, you’ve come a long way since you and I were first in touch.

      I have seen a massive difference, particularly in your attitude to your life. You’re slowly beginning to make a mark for yourself. I love it.

  2. My teenage years were spent pretty much the same as any other period of my formative years and youth, doing what I wanted; going where I wanted and spending time with whomever I wanted as long as I wasn’t at home.

    My teenage years were the opportunity for me to put into practice the independence I had created when younger. I certainly didn’t give much thought to the impact of my behaviour on others, especially on my parents, as I had been written off as ‘trouble’ by then in any case.

    Looking back I could have gone down a very different path, but thankfully the universe didn’t have that as its plan.

    1. I think our teenage years really do set us up in life. But that’s not to say we can’t make our own changes along the way, as ‘my story’ has proved.

      Being independent is good; we have to be, but there is such a thing as being too independent. It is massively important to think about others, not just in our personal relationship, but all relationships.

      Give ‘n’ take has to be part of that equation. No matter the childhood, that must always be put behind us, particularly if our experiences hurt or interfere with our relationships.

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