The wrong impression

12 Mar 2017

We spend a lifetime giving people the wrong impression. For some, it’s not always intentioned for us give the wrong impression, but for others they simply don’t care. They’re tied into their own unconscious thinking and don’t stop to think about the impression or mark they leave on others.

We’re aware early on what our parents think about us giving the wrong impression, we’re taught what’s right. We learn about what impressions are and we’re told they count. It’s a fact that the way we act and present ourselves will always provide a lasting impression. First impressions count.

Although perceptions count and they will differ, they are based on current and past experiences and depending on where other people are in their minds, they will either see we’ve changed, or they’re stuck in the past and will only remember old character traits. As is often the case, people do change and clearly move on, it’s up to others to move on with them.

What you see with my writing, my blogs is how I always was underneath, but growing up with so many issues, I was too angry to care.  I was always being judged for my outward behaviour instead of those near to me, looking to understand why. I needed help, not condemnation. Sadly, this is how many of us will continue to live, unconvinced they need to change.

If we’re already convinced we don’t need to change, it means there is very much a need for us to change and even if we think we’re okay, we can always do better. There is always room for improvement. Impressions do count.

6 Responses to “The wrong impression”

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  1. Brad 12. Mar, 2017 at 8:18 pm #

    I have certainly had my fair share of giving people the wrong impression when I was just being me, but I’ve learned to rein it in a bit.

    I agree there is only one opportunity to make a first impression but I also believe in being myself too.

    • Ilana 12. Mar, 2017 at 8:27 pm #

      Thanks. Yes, there are two trains of thought here. Generally speaking there is no harm in being who we are, but there’s us and there’s us working from the ego and there’s everything wrong with ego.

      When we’re being ourself without an ego we will be like everyone else, conversation will just flow. being ourselves with an ego, doesn’t make us who we are. There is a difference.

      As for first impressions or the wrong impression, working from our ego gives other people those.

  2. Bonnie Johns 13. Mar, 2017 at 6:18 am #

    I’ve not had too many experiences giving a wrong impression with people to my understanding. I do know of a very important person in my life currently that seems to give the wrong impression to the world!.

    I try to understand him in order to make sense of his behaviour, knowing everyone is different, and we’ve all had different experiences in our lives that shape us who we are, but when the person’s attitude and behaviour become draining, when is it time to stop trying to understand and move on?

    Yes people change, but they have to change themselves and make a difference on themselves in order to get along and co exist with the rest of society/family, right?

    • Ilana 13. Mar, 2017 at 7:47 am #

      Given your experiences as a child Bonnie it would have been very easy for you to have given your family the wrong impression of you.

      I think it’s credit to you that you didn’t, but perhaps your parents’ understanding on what you had to deal with, helped you work through your issue with your disability when you were a child, even though you couldn’t put a diagnosis to your symptoms.

      From what you say in your response Bonnie, it sounds as though this person has come from a dysfunctional place. But whatever has happened to him in his life, it is now his responsibility and he needs to deal with his issues, so that others don’t become the fall guy or get the wrong impression.

      Your last paragraph resonates with me and you’re right. Unfortunately, people don’t see that they need to change. All they see is that their issues are someone else’s and initially that is right; but as the adult we have to take responsibility back and start dealing with our issues, regardless of why we have those issues.

      I had many emotional issues as a child, none of which were my fault. My story is well documented, but I still have to take responsibility for myself. The very important person in your life who is struggling, needs to do the same.

      As you rightly say, they have to make a difference on themselves. We can all change, we have to want to.

  3. Tim 14. Mar, 2017 at 8:58 pm #

    I’m cognizant of the impressions I make and how sensitive I am to other people, so I can rest in peace when the time comes.

    The only thing I really want is to kill those memories that hit me like a sledgehammer and simply move on from there.

    • Ilana 14. Mar, 2017 at 9:16 pm #

      Thanks Tim. Yes, your first paragraph I am sure will resonate with a lot of people, including myself. As children we’re not always taught or are completely aware about the wrong impressions, or the signals we give out, but as adults it’s so important we get that right.

      As you rightly say Tim, it’s important we’re cognisant of making the right impressions, so when the time comes we can rest in peace. The same cannot be said for those who blight our lives and continue to leave the wrong impression.

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