By the time we’re 7 years old our characters are fully formed. But what happens when we’ve had no support, when that voice in our head belittles our very existence, when it starts to draw comparisons with other people, and we become convinced by the things we tell ourselves?
We don’t have to continually buy into it, we can change certain aspects and go on to live fulfilling lives, even without the support. We can look at past experiences and situations, find new understandings and look for new emotional endings. With work on ourselves, we can bring a different thought process into the equation that helps change how we see and deal with things.
It is always difficult to change circumstances around trauma, but it is possible through continual work on ourselves to change the story in our minds, so that we’re not choosing to take in negativity from other people.
How do we change?
We change by challenging our thoughts, and as we work through each experience as it happens, using our conscious mind to change our understanding so that we’re looking at the bigger picture, seeing everyone’s part in the process.
We can’t change other people’s behaviour, we can’t change the past, but we can change the way we think and perceive their behaviour and our past by making the issues we’re struggling with their responsibility if they are responsible. The sad reality is that we don’t, instead we carry other people’s guilt when they choose not to accept responsibility for it.
The story unfolding in our subconscious is the reason we continue to live negative lives. We’re tied to those thoughts. Bringing those thoughts back into the present, conscious moment and challenging ourselves to work through those will help us to perceive our issues and lives differently.