Tips for handling anger

As a follow on from my blog ‘Evaluating anger,’ I thought I would look at ways to help us deal with anger. Without learning how to deal with and handle anger, we will always stay angry.

Although it’s normal to feel angry from time to time, anger isn’t something we should move into our lives permanently.

These tips should help:

  • It’s important to recognise why you’re angry. Always try to look for and work through the initial source of anger;
  • Talk your anger through with the person you’re angry at. That way you stop yourself from taking your anger out on other people who primarily end up being in the firing line;
  • If it’s your child that’s angry, try to get them to talk about why they’re feeling angry. If they can’t then time out always helps;
  • Always come back in and apologise when you’re through the angry stage. That way you show others, it’s okay for them to apologise too;
  • Write your anger thoughts down. Reading through our thoughts can sometimes help us understand the anger we feel and helps put space between us and the anger;
  • It’s far easier to get angry than it is to work through the initial source of anger, but anger always needs to be addressed. Anger is a culmination of a past experience in the present moment and something we’re presently dealing with.

Perhaps we need to evaluate exactly how we feel and incorporate more mediation into our relationships. It’s important we talk about the things that could easily turn into anger and which usually comes from nowhere.

16 Sep, 2016

6 thoughts on “Tips for handling anger

  1. Yes, being better able to handle my anger would be such a great thing! Anger does actually have a purpose as it is one of the survival instincts that people really do need.

    It definitely isn’t something I want, but there are times when there isn’t much you can do about it other than deal with it. The biggest issue I usually have is being unsure of where the anger may be coming from at times.

    Kind of hard to tell when you have almost 50 years of it buried in your soul. Most of it isn’t even mine considering how much my parents dumped on me, instead of dealing with it themselves.

    Now all I need to do is figure out a way to finally get rid of what I can, so that it isn’t weighing me down like it has for most of my life.

    1. I think you’re right Randy. We do need to figure out a way to finally get rid of our anger. As you rightly say, anger if not dealt with, weighs us down and will continue to weigh us down.

      I hope what I’ve written helps. I believe that when our anger isn’t about us, but coming from other people’s actions, it’s easier to let it go.

  2. I don’t get angry as much as I get frustrated. Is that the same thing? It’s never been my nature to walk around and he a grump to people, all because life isn’t going my way. I was also raised that way too.

    However, I believe there’s some truth with personalities amongst families. For instance, my dad has a short temper, so do my sisters and my daughter. My mom and I are the same.

    1. Thanks Bonnie. I agree with you when you say you believe there is truth with personalities amongst families, but I’m not sure how much of that is inherent or environmental.

      From what I know there is a difference between being angry and being frustrated. Being frustrated is something we can usually contain and deal with, without exploding or taking it out on someone else.

      Anger is a strong feeling of annoyance which isn’t usually contained.

  3. You made it clear to me when you stated that we live our past experiences in the present moment; I wrote that down on a note pad as to never forget it.

    1. Thanks Tim!! I’m pleased you’ve embraced the rationale behind my thinking. This is exactly how my blogs work.

      There’s a message as to how we can change things in all my blogs, as you have shown.

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