Toxic personality traits

Toxic people weren’t always toxic. They may look like everyone else, disguised as a family member, partner and best friend.

Being around someone toxic for any length of time can leave us feeling emotionally exhausted. They are great manipulators, and skilled liars. They will control by guilt tripping us into believing we’re the ones at fault and won’t take responsibility for themselves.

Toxic people see themselves as the victim, without any concern for what we struggle with. What we struggle with and what they know about us, won’t register with them. Toxic people will rarely compliment and if they do, it’s usually a backhanded compliment.

They are jealous of anyone who is successful and to our face will ignore talking about our success. Toxic people are abusive, emotionally unhealthy and unsupportive people.

Toxic people will bring you down, so much that we begin to feel dependent on them for their opinion, sometimes doubting your own. They want you to feel sorry for them, be responsible for them and to fix their problems.

On your part, you will continue to make excuses for them. As you continue to believe and internalise their lies, what they tell you without question in turn will affect how you view yourself and your worth.


17 Oct, 2019

4 thoughts on “Toxic personality traits

  1. My parents were extremely toxic and expected us to take care of them, even though they were supposed to be taking care of us. They expected us to be friendly towards people we shouldn’t have been exposed, to let alone being forced to take care of them too.

    It has taken me so long to finally believe that I am worthy of not having to deal with those kind of people, which has made my life much less complicated.

    1. Thanks Randy. You’re away from all that now. We cannot change what happens to us, all we can do is change what happens to us as adults.

      Parents can and often teach us ‘how not to do things.’ And in those circumstances we must often learn to relearn what we have learned.

      I remember telling myself I would do things differently. It takes effort, but worth it to be able to shape our own future, the way we want.

    1. Thanks Tim. The problem with someone’s behaviour being toxic is that if it’s allowed to carry on, it will almost certainly become demonic. Those traits are difficult enough, even more so when it’s your own brother that can’t have been easy for you.

      But the first step to healing is recognition. That said, even if you were to have said something, it may not be accepted or recognised by your brother or other members of your family.

      Each family member must be on the same page. It’s very rare that happens and that makes it even more difficult.

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