Science has shown that it is our thoughts about the things that happen to us that have the biggest impact on how we feel and how we will go on to act on those things. Thoughts don’t just apply to the big events that happen in our lives, but to the small issues too. Our initial thinking on any event that is negative, isn’t always as accurate as we think.
To understand our thinking, we need to be aware of our thinking patterns, because it is those patterns that will have the most impact on our behaviour and on our relationships with other people. Being aware of those patterns has been scientifically proven to have a positive impact on us.
It takes practice to change our thoughts so that they become more accurate. For example, when bad things happen to us, our first thinking goes to the event itself, because it is the event that drives the emotions on how we feel. It’s never the events that cause our reactions, but our initial thoughts in response to those events and is often the reason why our initial thoughts are sometimes inaccurate.
Any negative events will always drive stronger emotions and reactions from us. There is now strong evidence to suggest, however that becoming skilled and learning to recognise our thoughts in response to any negative event, means we’ll be best placed to put those events back into perspective and will become better at managing, understanding and choosing our initial responses.
Once we understand our responses, we will always choose our reactions better. It’s only when we look back of course that we see that is often the case.