Unlocking our thinking

Words can unlock our thinking but we either spend a life disengaging, or engaging, reacting inappropriately, get that wrong, then disengage again.

Unproductive actions that lead us to nowhere, instead of using our time productively to unlock our thinking, engage our thoughts, create conversations that allow us to think about present or future possibilities.

As children, we learn to disengage, but sometimes disengaging isn’t helpful when we need to stick up for ourselves on the things that need correcting, things that are said or done. Sadly, our upbringing, our environment, family and siblings, are often the reason we disengage.

Perhaps we learn where we come in the pecking order, which sibling is more important. We learn it’s easier not to say anything, than to say something and get ourselves into trouble. We follow the patterns that are simply easier, less traumatic; then realise later just how much harder everything has become, when we have to engage ourselves again.

As adults, we learn how important it is to engage, to live our lives; to get our points across, but staying engaged needs emotional work and that needs to be a priority.

Finally, we must engage and take control of our lives, rather than rely on others who over time may come to control us.


21 Nov, 2017

2 thoughts on “Unlocking our thinking

  1. Well, that’s definitely what I need to be working on right now. My thinking has always been skewed by the impression that my life didn’t really matter other than to take care of others, like my mother forced me to do for most of my childhood.

    It did become the easier, softer way to just disengage from what I was feeling and do what she expected me to do. This is so obviously what I have been doing for most of my life and in toxic relationships, where I have allowed them to control my life.

    Sadly, the only term that comes to mind is that I have Mommy issues that I need to address. She instilled that prime directive of learned helplessness, to the point where I haven’t felt in control of my life for the longest time; but it is definitely something I so desperately want to change.

    1. I can resonate with you Randy. Yes, disengaging always seems easier, but in the longer term, it’s not so easy.

      Because the older we get, at some point we have to take control and we can only do that, by unlocking out thinking so that we get to deal with our thoughts.

      Being mindful helps us at least understand our presenting circumstances, even if at that point we’re not in a position to act.

      Circumstances always change, sadly not when we want them to, but being aware at least prepares us for the inevitable.

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