Using mediation

21 Apr 2017

Although mediation is usually involved and refers to an intervention in a dispute to resolve that dispute, I also believe there’s a different explanation that works in life too. Mediation is an intervention in a process or relationship and should work in families too.

Families don’t always use mediation as a tool. We offer an opinion, the opinion isn’t accepted then we fall out or walk away, depending on what comes first. Mediation should be used as a tool between two people to bring a discussion or opinion to a conclusion, without having to bring a third party in to do it.

There needs to be more of it. We’re too quick to throw in the towel instead of offering an olive branch and using mediation to talk about what we feel, to get the other person’s opinion and for them to mediate back with us. Having grown in an environment where mediation should have been used, I never got why they didn’t try hard enough.

We should want to change and use mediation to work through our issues together. Issues aren’t unique, we all have them. Mediation should help bring about that much needed clarification and understanding into our lives.

It isn’t difficult to do, but we must want to, to find a resolve on our issues and then to solve our disagreements, in that order. It starts with us every time.

4 Responses to “Using mediation”

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  1. Tim 21. Apr, 2017 at 8:44 pm #

    At some point, words begin to ricochet off walls and no one compromises, every kind of behavior comes before rational.

    But by the glory of something greater than ourselves, things usually get resolved, but that’s after hurt has been permanently tattooed on us.

    • Ilana 21. Apr, 2017 at 9:48 pm #

      Thanks Tim. I love your response and so true.

      But if one thing is assured, for every issue, we will always have or find a resolve for that issue. It’s the nature of what issues are.

      How long we have to wait of course is down to the individual, or how long we’re prepared to wait for something to work itself through.

  2. Brad 23. Apr, 2017 at 6:27 pm #

    I agree with your explanation of mediation in the context of relationships. Its up to us to try hard enough to recognise, address and change what needs changing while there is time.

    Compromise is seen as failure or defeat but its actually a positive attribute.

    • Ilana 23. Apr, 2017 at 6:48 pm #

      Thanks, yes I also believe compromise is. We should want to try hard enough to communicate and mediate. Want to make a difference on both sides.

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