We create our stress

If I were to tell you we are responsible for our own stress, you would probably laugh or shrug it off. You may even get cross; after all, who wants to be told they are the reason for their own stress?

I’m not sure how many of us are open to the idea, yet it’s a fact that stress is self-generated. Others will contribute to it, and although we don’t have control over their behaviour and the way they behave towards us, we do have control over ourselves.

This may be seen as negative, but it’s actually quite constructive. Anything that makes us self-aware is a good thing, but we will also need to make ourselves aware of where our stressors are coming from in order to acknowledge and accept that we can do something about it.

Addressing stress through our thoughts and behaviour will always help reduce it. Internal stressors can include depression, a particular worry, uncertainty, and the inability to control a particular outcome, or our reaction to it.

Beliefs are also a factor, as are our opinions and expectations, particularly the expectations we put on ourselves. External factors play their part, but it’s up to us to be responsible enough to at least try to understand where those stress factors are coming from and why.

External factors mean stress will always be present in our lives, but with the right attitude, we can control the amount we let in.


25 Feb, 2015

6 thoughts on “We create our stress

  1. Initially I was going to say that I disagreed with this as stress is sometimes imposed on us by external changes, but having read your blog a few times I agree; as it is how we react to those external influences that matters.

    I knew someone who made everything someone else’s problem and shifted all responsibility and stresses onto that other person. He wasn’t the most popular guy in town but he lived to an old age!

    1. Unfortunately and you’re right, as is often the case; those kind of people make other people the scapegoat and take the burden of responsibility off themselves, which ties in with what you say about this type of person living to a ripe old age.

      That said, it’s what we carry emotionally that makes the difference between us staying well and getting ill. I believe external influences (because there are so many) will always cause us more stress than the stress we cause ourselves.

      Of course and I agree with you that how we react to external influences is an important factor in reducing and limiting our stress.

  2. I agree we are responsible for our own stress, but it’s very difficult not to allow external factors to stress us out, especially if they affect us in a negative way.

    We are always going to feel some level of stress, after all we are built with feelings. We have the choice to just dwell on it, or try to find a way so it won’t affect us as much or not at all.

  3. I totally believe it. I see it in my daughter. She stresses herself out and gets so agitated she is blind. Then she wants to blame others for it.

    1. Thanks Lisa. It’s always much harder when we deal with something that causes us to behave in a way that becomes inappropriate. When we’re constantly stressed, we cope even less.

      It’s easier when we are able to deal with our issues singularly, but unfortunately and from my own experiences problems come in 3’s! That’s a lot of stress we have to deal with.

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