We hurt, we hurt others because we’re hurt, but that makes us very much like the people who hurt us.
If we are to judge how lovable we are, based on someone else’s inability to love without hurting us, we will acquire an inaccurate view of ourselves. The reflections of love we acquire from those we love, are not always reciprocated.
It’s not that others will consciously choose not to love or hurt us, but their experiences based on their own unconscious thinking is the reason for their inability to show love. Growing up, we base our ability to love on the love we receive from others.
When that doesn’t happen, the mirror image of what we see becomes our inner voice. No matter how much we defend our corner growing up, when it comes to put-downs and criticisms, on a subconscious level we will begin to believe what we hear.
We buy into the flaws reflected in the mirror, even though we consciously know our loved ones are distorting their impression of us. But we can change that.
I often use reflection as a tool to understand my own life. If we reflect long enough, the bigger picture becomes obvious. That some of the issues we think are about us, are other people’s issue of us and that’s not the same thing.