We make assumptions

We make assumptions about people before we really know. In some cases, we’ll agree we’ve wrongly assumed what we’ve assumed about that person and in other cases rather than initiate we were a little too quick to judge, we’ll keep up the pretence rather that admit were wrong.

Perhaps it’s us wanting to be right, so will never admit we’re wrong; or what we see in someone else, is as a reflection of what we see in ourselves. We may go out of our way to prove to ourselves and to others that we’re right, but we will always pay a price for the privilege of being intellectually dishonest with ourselves.

Being intellectually dishonest is our failure to apply standards of rational evaluation that we are aware of, but we do it to suit ourselves. We tend to judge others more critically than we do ourselves. We know the truth, but instead will choose not to see it.

We’re more than up to recognising the way in which we choose to fool ourselves and for what reason, but like we fool ourselves, we’re also capable of working things out by seeing exactly what we’re supposed to see.

We need to see people the way they present and not the way we want them to be. Seeing people the way they present means we’ll be able to communicate effectively without the need to make assumptions.


28 May, 2015

4 thoughts on “We make assumptions

  1. I have become accustomed to people making assumptions about me based on my disability. Some seem to believe that they know what I am capable of doing amongst other things.

    It can be tiring proving myself otherwise that sometimes I just let it go. Their assumptions are not true anyway, I know who I really am.

    1. Thanks Maria. I think you’re right. People tend to make assumptions around people with disabilities. I think that’s why there is still a stigma around disability.

      Instead of people really knowing about what we deal with they assume and then get it wrong. As you say, their assumptions of you aren’t right. You know who you really are. It’s wise to let it go.

      You know what you know, which isn’t what they think they know about you.

  2. I think we all make assumptions about the people we meet and see, but I have leaned that those initial assumptions can prove to be very wrong. We should simply let the person’s actions and words speak for them, without us jumping to conclusions. I’m sure we wouldn’t want it done to us, so why should we do it to others.

    Interestingly, in my case I was introduced to my now business partner by a mutual friend about 15 years ago and being honest we really didn’t get on too well at that initial meeting.

    I can’t remember how things developed from there, but we have since gone on to develop an excellent and trusting working relationship and personal friendship, both of which have grown and grown.

    1. Thank you. I think you’re right; we do make assumptions very early on and shouldn’t. As your case has shown there is a right way and a wrong way. Had you continued to assume, you wouldn’t have the relationship you have with your business partner now and you will have walked away a long time ago.

      People can change as my own case has shown. To assume early is wrong and to continue to assume things about people is totally wrong. Everyone deserves a second chance, but the problem is as we continue to assume, we fail to give people a second chance.

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