How many of us temporarily detach ourselves emotionally from a relationship so that we can either deal with our lives or walk away from some form of abuse?
I don’t believe we’re consciously aware that we do it, but I believe we do it to protect ourselves, so that we can be free of restraints and stress, until such a time we manage to get back on our feet again. This is something cats do all the time, particularly in times of stress if they’re not being looked after properly.
In some cases, a physical detachment might also be necessary too. Once we’re emotionally detached, our minds take on a different thought process. We become free of any restraints, so that we allow ourselves time and space to make our own choices and decisions, whilst the other person becomes empowered to make their own decisions without us.
What is emotional detachment and how does it occur?
Emotional detachment happens when we choose to distance ourselves from those who we see as a threat.
We become emotionally detached for many reasons:
- When we don’t feel a need to help the other person all the time;
- We accept that on some level we cannot change others;
- We put boundaries in place, so that both parties are aware of what is acceptable and what isn’t;
- We allow ourselves to create a healthy way forward so that we only choose the people we want in our lives;
- We take control for ourselves so that we don’t have to fall back into line again;
- If we’re not happy with someone else, rather than try to change them, we choose to walk away.
I go back to my belief that how we are in our adult lives stem from childhood. We’re conditioned from a very early age to think the way we do. As a coping mechanism we disengage from our realities, so that for a finite time everything seems normal to us.
I think if we’re being honest, this is something we’ve probably all done and still do to some extent; we just haven’t put a name to it, until now.
To be cont.d/2