When issues run deep

When someone has a problem with us, it usually means they have more than one issue they’re not telling us about. Issues run deep.

Relationships we have with others are based on a shared history. Where issues run deeper, grievances that are locked in the past is where those issues will stay. It doesn’t matter how much time passes, history will start to rewrite itself, new narratives will be constructed through miscommunications.

Where relationships become strained, superficial and in some cases non-existent, stories will be built up to protect those family members. It’s the story they see and will defend, but not usually in the way the story happened and not in the way others will see or recognise it.

Stories will continue to be built away from any dialogue, in some cases with families being left broken and torn apart.


18 Jun, 2019

4 thoughts on “When issues run deep

  1. Issues running deep seems to be putting it mildly, at least in our case. Mine have pretty much fractured my mind and scarred my soul to the point where I truly wonder if I could ever feel whole.

    I have had to face that my issues are embedded in the depths of my subconscious and I will have to use dynamite to get them out. It seems frustrating but I can see why so many people never ever try to do it.

    My parents never did so we were forced to go through their hell with them, which wasn’t fair to us. We grew up in a time when parents could get away with it.

    The big difference now, is that we don’t have to suffer anymore and can do the work we need to do to move on with our lives.

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes, you’re right, you don’t have to suffer anymore, you can choose to do the work you need to do, so you can move on with your life.

      I’m with you on that. These issues you’re carrying were never yours. Don’t feel bad in giving away any of what you feel back to your parents. What they have done to you, belongs with them, not with you.

      It’s your time to heal and to move on with your life.

  2. We all have issues and they tend to surface in arguments. I remember having an argument with a family member thinking “where did that come from?” It was like they had stored it up for years, waiting for the right moment.

    My family have had its fair share of stories too. There have been plenty fallings out and I’m not sure how much the stories have been embellished over the years, I tend not to take sides.

    The stories are so old, I’m not sure anyone knows the truth.

    1. Thanks. Yes, issues definitely surface in arguments, but they wouldn’t have to be issues, if we all ‘did the right thing.’ That must happen if both issues and arguments are to become a thing of the past.

      I also think it depends on the issue and how deep an issue runs. We hold on to issues like our lives depended on it, but the universe knows the truth. I think people do too, but their recollection of the truth may change.

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