People often think that the only time children have to resist the temptation to act as an intermediary between their parents is when their parents go through a divorce, but speaking from experience it doesn’t start there.
What we don’t always see or realise is that every issue we can’t agree on that ends up in a disagreement, also becomes an issue for children who will sometimes resist the temptation to get involved. It’s easy for children to get caught up in their parents’ disagreements.
It’s hard enough growing up, without children having to navigate or scoot around their parents’ behaviour. My parents didn’t divorce, but my experiences were very similar to parents who should have gone through a divorce. Feuding parents can be feuding parents in the home. Feuding parents don’t have to go through an acrimonious divorce for their arguments to have an emotional impact on their children.
Children should always be encouraged to stay out of their parents’ disagreements and for parents to resist the temptation to bring their children into those disagreements. It’s important for parents to find middle ground on their arguments. As children grow up, they need to continue to maintain healthy relationships with both their parents, just as parents need to work at maintaining healthy relationships with their children.
From my own experience it’s not only important for children’s emotional health but for their physical and spiritual health and wellbeing too.