Why we avoid responsibility

We either block issues out because the issues are too difficult, or when we look back we’re not willing to agree another person’s version of our story.

Why do some of us go to great lengths to avoid responsibility?

We avoid responsibility because it seems too difficult. We’re not always mentally mature enough to accept that we are responsible.

In some circumstances, we may also choose to ignore the things we’ve done, won’t accept that we are responsible, or will go to great lengths to point the finger at someone else. But whatever our issue with taking responsibility, without taking responsibility, we will keep repeating the same mistakes and patterns, in a different format later on.

There is a train of thought of course that just because we choose to block something out, live in denial or avoid responsibility on the very things we must take responsibility for, doesn’t mean that what happened didn’t happen, or doesn’t exist outside of our four walls.

Everything we do starts in childhood. Children are not always brought to task over their behaviour, either because it’s easier for their parents, or they’re expected to sort their own battles out, but that’s not how it should work.

Life shows that an unaccountable child is an unaccountable adult and an uncountable adult means they’ll never be answerable or accountable for their actions, but even if we avoid being responsible or choose not to make ourselves responsible or accountable, those things will never go away or go unnoticed.

The universe knows and will work to make us accountable, regardless of whether we choose to accept and be responsible.


6 Dec, 2016

4 thoughts on “Why we avoid responsibility

  1. Yes, it did all start when I was a kid and my parents eventually seemed to lose interest in me when I got to a certain age. They pretty much threw us to the wolves at that point and expected us to just survive, I imagine. We were forced to make a lot of adult decisions with a child’s knowledge so that was a disaster.

    They actually wanted us to take care of them most of the time, which really wasn’t fair in so many ways. I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to be the other way around from what I know. My siblings were the ones who taught me a lot of things, like my brother teaching me to ride bicycle and one of my sisters teaching me how to tie my shoes.

    My parents too avoiding responsibility took it whole new levels and we were usually just along for the ride, quite literally. My mother brainwashed me into acting the same way even when I didn’t want to, just out of spite for my dad I think. It’s no wonder my siblings hated me with a passion considering how she treated me like a prince, but they didn’t know the price I had to pay.

    She demanded absolute loyalty for things like us starving for a few weeks, while she had money on her and I wasn’t supposed to say a word. She prevented me from doing a lot of the normal things kids do, to learn how to function in the world. I tried so very hard to be responsible especially after my daughter was born, but I actually didn’t know how and she suffered horribly because of it.

    Neither one of my parents ever accepted responsibility for their actions which was the worst part. They acted like nothing had ever happened when the things that did still give me nightmares. I never wanted to be anything like either one of them, but I turned out to be just like both of them and so much worse.

    I have tortured myself mercilessly because of the guilt, shame and remorse I feel, when most of it wasn’t my cross to bear. It makes sense as to why it keeps getting passed down the generations, because people keep avoiding their responsibility to deal with those issues and move on.

    I’m trying very hard to accept responsibility for my part in my mistakes and let go of what wasn’t mine, so that I can break this cycle, once and for all.

    1. Thanks Randy. I know how you feel and how it goes, but know none of this is down to you, it’s time to stop feeling guilty, or living with remorse on the things you didn’t get to do.

      This is your parents guilt for them to carry. Even if they don’t take responsibility and it’s clear they haven’t, try not to let that bother you, because the Universe knows what they have done. This won’t have gone unnoticed. These things never do.

      Your parents will still be accountable. Before we cross, we all get a re-run of our lives. Your mum already has hers now and your dad will too.

  2. By design, our system is not pure; it routinely incorporates elements of pain and uncertainty in our lives. But we have to be responsible to a large degree within that system just to be happy, just to have a little peace.

    Regardless of how we measure responsibility, enough is never enough and we feel that we aren’t being heard by the universe sometimes; I even understand that.

    1. Thanks Tim. Yes, I think you’re right, but regardless of whether we have to be responsible within the system just to be happy or have peace; we will only be either when we take responsibility.

      It’s not up to others to take or be responsible for us, we must do that for ourselves; but as long as the universe concurs with our version of what it means to be responsible, we’re home and dry.

      If more of us were responsible, the world would be different today and there would be more support in the world and with each other.

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