We define ourselves by the standards we create. Those standards are a checklist of our behaviour, ethics and morality.
Each of our also stories contain a set of standards, which initially our parents set for us, which we continue to define ourselves by. The problem is that most of us don’t think about the standards we’re subconsciously living by, even though we still define ourselves and that can be dangerous.
It’s a checklist we adopt, through our beliefs, our friends, our environment, through our culture, and our beliefs. When it comes to Western culture we are also defined by how we are compared to others, how we look and through material gain.
We are defined by our careers, by exams, how many rungs of the corporate ladder we’ve climbed. We are defined by our self-worth, based on monetary gain.
We must learn to ignore others defining us, or us defining ourselves. We are not our attachments, because who we are will change through our emotional and spiritual growth with each passing day. Instead, we must consciously be aware of the things that influence us and understand how those influences work.
But influences will and do affect how we will behave and feel about ourselves, and how we will define ourselves, and will set us up for failure. Also, when we define ourselves by the things that are outside of our control, we will fail.
We must find satisfaction in ourselves; we mustn’t be defined or define ourselves.