Working on our core values

Unless we walk a mile in another person’s shoes we can never know what that person thinks or struggles with, but that shouldn’t stop us from trying to help.

And that goes back to our core values and what we’re taught as children. We don’t all have empathy, tolerance, compassion or are caring, but we can have these qualities if we choose to work on them. When it comes to any type of behaviour, we can choose to behave differently regardless of what our parents have done and what their parents did with them.

Although these values are inherent, they’re not as inherent as we think. They need honing. Putting others first says so much more about us, than those who simply choose to put themselves first.

Putting others first shows others we’re selfless as long as we’re doing it for good reason. We have our reasons for doing it. Sometimes it’s an attention seeking, or approval issue. We learn from a small age that the way to gain approval from others is to do what they want. But we must find a balance.

If more of us were selfless the world would be safer, we’d all live better lives and we’d all get on better. Putting others first doesn’t mean we deny ourselves of our own needs, we can do both. But if our core values were at the heart of our relationships, we would place more value on those relationships.

We should want to do what’s right. Doing what’s right should be instinctive, part of our core values of who we are. Perhaps that’s where we’re going wrong. Over the years, our core values have continued to change and decrease in value.

It’s the society we’re in and that means we’ve all changed and sadly not for the better.


30 May, 2017

2 thoughts on “Working on our core values

  1. All the values you mention are fundamental to our growth and to successful relationships. They form part of the code we need to live by.

    While we all programmed by our childhood influences, we can all change that once we see the need to change and recognise that we can change.

    1. Yes, I believe we all need to change, where we can do better, but there are those who won’t admit they need to or can change. I think my site has proved and continues to prove how we can change. But as you fundamentally say, we have and must recognise our own need for change.

      Without having worked through the process myself all those years ago, this site wouldn’t exist. I believe we’re all responsible for ourselves, but until we stop passing the buck, blaming and looking to others to make our lives right, we will never take control for ourselves.

      Our core values are the foundations of life. We cannot fundamentally live together peacefully without it.

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