Working with an other’s ego

People who work from their ego will always make other people’s life difficult. Unfortunately, we can never get to know anyone whose identity and ego have become intertwined.

The ego stems from the conscious, from a person’s sense of self-importance that becomes over-inflated and who uses it to avoid dealing with their own issues. The ego allows a person to cut themselves off emotionally from those around them becoming emotionally separate and that’s how they will live their life.

Being on the other end of an other’s ego means we will always be the issue. Whatever goes wrong for them in their life, someone else will always be at fault. We will go through life not knowing that person. It’s sad of course, because they won’t get to know themselves either, because they will never deal with themselves in the normal way.

An ego can turn up in feelings of inferiority and self-hatred. Unfortunately, the ego mirrors the image that we have of ourselves that gives us our identity and that will always make it difficult for anyone who doesn’t work from their ego. Separation through the ego, is an inevitable part of what the ego is.

People tend to use their ego to complain about a situation they find themselves in. They use it to complain about other people, choosing to point out their flaws whilst ignoring their own. In certain circumstances; they may also complain about how someone could have handled themselves better.

The ego thinks for itself and talks for us. Working from the ego means we’re never fully in control, because our thoughts are in control of us. The sad reality is that where people with an ego think they know us, it’s their ego that dictates their reality of us.

Finally, that isn’t the same as knowing us in our own reality, as we come to know ourselves.


23 Jan, 2017

6 thoughts on “Working with an other’s ego

  1. Boy, don’t I know this ego issue all too well! I happen to be on the bottom of the spectrum, where I have such feelings of inferiority and self hatred.

    My brother was the one who was the jock in school and got all the attention from the girls, whereas I was the nerdy little brother who withered in his shadow. It didn’t register with me at the time that we were very similar, physically and once I hit puberty I could have worked on getting into shape too, so the girls would notice me.

    My hatred and resentments have kept me trapped all of these years, while most of my life passed me by. I felt like there wasn’t much I could do to change my lot in life, since we had been cursed by my Grandmother.

    Therefore most of my life was spent blaming others for my woes, when they were because of choices that I made rather than anyone else’s fault. I have spent most of my life avoiding having to deal with other people’s egos.

    My parents pretty much destroyed me with their’s, so I came to hate the fight because I always seemed to be the one losing. I should have realized when I was going through a divorce and didn’t want to fight about things, which really turned to bite me in the ass. She knew things about me that I didn’t want others to know, so I was willing to walk away, but her lawyer decided he wanted to play dirty so the war was on.

    There always seems to come a time when you will have to deal with someone else’s ego who clashes with yours. I despise any type of conflict, because of the way I grew up, which meant I put up with things that no normal person would ever have.

    Somewhere along the line I lost the ability to fight back, so I spent far too many years cowering in fear like a dog that had just been kicked. My friend has been repeatedly asking me why I put up with it now and probably the biggest reason is that even though it’s not right the way I’m being treated, it’s easier just to give in.

    You live what you know. He is right so I have to prepare myself for a war with someone who has a gigantic ego! This may end very badly but it has to end, one way or the other.

    1. Somewhere along the line you lost the ability to fight back Randy, but I believe from what I read in your responses, you’re a a lot stronger now.

      You know your life inside out. You know what was wrong with your past and how you want your life to go now. I understand how you feel about yourself, given your experiences. It’s easy to turn on ourselves when there’s no where else for other people’s guilt to go; but it’s not your guilt to carry.

      I believe that we often have to go through conflict to get to the other side of where we want to be. That aside, regardless of who we’re with, our relationships must be based on respect. I’m not a lover of conflict myself, but when we it comes to us living a life we’re not happy with, we must be ready for some conflict.

      Not everyone will admit to their faults of how they treat us, but that mustn’t stop us from forging out a life for ourselves.

  2. I have a friend that I used to hang with a little, a guy and we would all tell him he had an inflated ego. He would tell us he was not conceited, but we were convinced!

    Of course time changes things so much and we were teens then too. I know some ego’s that are huge and it’s so unfortunate because people let their egos get in the way of who they really are.

    1. Thanks Lisa. Your last paragraph sums up your response beautifully and you’re right. Egos will always get in the way with how people really are.

  3. Perhaps I should write a note with the words personal and confidential to people who think they know me. That way I shouldn’t be attacked by ego’s that don’t make sense.

    But as soon as I avoid one ego, here comes another.

    1. Thanks Tim. Yes, people tend to use their egos as a form of escapism from who they really are.

      More people seem to be hiding behind their ego; so your last paragraph makes a lot of sense and holds true. There are some of us who don’t use our ego, but we seem to be in the minority.

      The world would be a better place without people’s egos being at the forefront of their characters and which is often the bane of our lives; particularly if we live with someone who works off their ego.

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