You are not your role

Our jobs, society, family, heritage and culture, all create roles for us, but who we are has nothing to do with those roles.

Uniquely and individually, we are us. Our personality should dictate who we are, rather than our roles dictate who we are. We are people first, role second. My blog has shaped my life and my thinking, but that’s because what I write is based on my soul, and how I choose to live and that defines my personality.

We are defined by others through our jobs, what we fail to do, what we fail to achieve and whether we succeed. The jobs we work at, whether we’re a teacher, or an accountant are how we sometimes see ourselves. We take our work home with us, we live our lives through our work. We communicate through what we experience, often defined by our jobs.

We see ourselves for something we’ve created. We overlook so many parts of our identity because of what we do. But we’re so much more than that. We must get to know who we are outside of our work roles; our identity mustn’t fully depend on it.

Slipping into our roles, we become less vulnerable because our job becomes our safety net, but if we were to fail we’ve already written ourselves off, because we don’t know how to manage ourselves outside of our roles.


14 Jun, 2018

4 thoughts on “You are not your role

  1. I have never fully understood what my role was supposed to be, seeing as I was forced to be my mother’s emotional teddy bear and wasn’t allowed to really develop my own identity.

    I’m sure this was why I kept on trying to fulfill that role with women who were so much like my mother and it always ended badly. I’m at the point where I don’t want to be in that role anymore, but can’t quite figure out how to accomplish that goal.

    I’m guessing that it would be comparable to something like someone who has been a soldier for most of their life and don’t really know anything different.

    It would be absolutely fantastic if I was able to figure out what my role really is, once I have the freedom to do my own thing once again.

    1. Thanks Randy. Our role as a child is to be a child, although when you’re being brought up in a ‘dysfunctional family,’ that doesn’t happen and we are given roles by our parents.

      Now you know that wasn’t right, but that’s how it was. Your role now as the adult is what you want your role to be. It depends on what you want from your life and working towards that change.

      I’ve come to that assumption through my own journey. We can create the life we want, reinvent ourselves… regardless of the life we’ve had.

  2. The good news is that my role will change until I’m liberated, if I don’t get swallowed by the walls waiting.

    1. Thanks Tim. I don’t see that being you. We tend to ‘get swallowed up’ when we allow others to take control of our lives, until we take control back.

      Our personalities tend to change to fit our circumstances until such a time our circumstances change for good around family scenarios particularly. But we have to be instrumental in creating that change.

      Through your responses and from what you say, I believe you are working towards liberation. That’s the first step to becoming liberated.

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