Signs that mum approves

With just under a week to go and with advanced copies of the book now in my possession, the day I received them will be forever etched in my memory.

The morning I received the books, I had a sign early on that mum was with me and that she approves the book. Sitting at the kitchen table the kitchen lights started to flicker for a few seconds, a sure sign something was going to happen.

I wasn’t prepared for what happened. Later that morning, at 11.30am when the doorbell rang, I signed for a package, but even with the package in my hand, unconsciously the penny didn’t drop.

Also, growing up with a disability, with my parents supported, my family could have emotionally supported me and taken the journey with me, but it’s not how that worked out. It was a journey I was to take on my own.

With no emotional and mental support behind me, it’s something I haven’t come to terms with. Honestly, I’m not sure you ever do.


27 Dec, 2019

4 thoughts on “Signs that mum approves

  1. Yes, it would have been great for both of us to have had the support we needed as children, but obviously that never happened.

    People love to say things like, ‘they did the best they could with what they had’ which only serves to make things so much worse. You do tend to wonder what things could have been like if you would have had what you really needed, does little more than rubbing salt in the wound.

    We’re expected to ‘just get over it’ because they were our parents but that usually comes from people who had great parents and never had to suffer through things like we did.

    I’m very glad to hear that your book is coming out and can’t wait to read it.

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes it would have been nice. I used to dwell on exactly the point you’ve made around support.

      But to wish for something we know isn’t going to happen doesn’t help our confidence or self-esteem and makes us emotionally stuck. Years on and with the book very shortly due to be published, my thoughts turn to my mum particularly.

      It was mum’s words that encouraged me to look into my disability after she passed. Without mum’s words there would be no website or book. The sign she gave me the day I took delivery is the reason why I know she approves of the book.

      She would be proud.

  2. I believe your mum was around you that morning and that was her way of telling you she is proud of you and that your book is going to be a success.

    It may be that she didn’t tell you while she was alive, but she has certainly told you now.

    1. Thanks. Yes, I also believe the same. I am feeling upbeat about the book and how things will go on.

      If I had my time again to reproduce the book, there is nothing I would change which is always a good sign.

      Dedicated to my mum, I know mum would have approved. What she found difficult to say this side of life, she’s managing the other.

      I am proud of us both. I won’t stand in judgment because I know her struggles. They were my struggles too.

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