As a follow on from my previous blog about why we worry, not worrying is not always possible depending on what we have to deal with. We can distract ourselves for a little while, we have calm thoughts, but unless we know how to banish worries for good; inevitably those worries will come back.
Ask yourself questions
The key to controlling anxiety and worry is to ask the questions that will help you understand more about what leads you to worry in the first place. I tend to ask myself questions that will help me change the way I perceive my worries.
Some of my questions are outlined below:
We make life complicated. It's important to create a calm and a worry free zone. Of course once we get the hang of learning to deal with worries, those worries will be dealt with as we go along.
A worry is negative, so being around negative people will only serve to make our worries bigger. It's important to always make sure we're around positive people.
I agree Ilana. Negative people do create negativeness and positive people are fun to be around and it can be quite contagious, a little like hanging around folk that have the flu!
Yes of course Mike, although I'm not sure I want to be hanging around someone with flu!
For me it has to be the whole package. If we are around people who are positive we will also tap into being positive, but being positive isn't something easy to be, if we are not positive by nature. Positivity has to come from within.
It is so much easier to be around someone who is happy and positive. It takes so much energy to deal with a person who worries all the time. That is what I find from personal experience.
I agree with your sentiments completely. Yes it does take more energy to deal with someone who worries and is negative all the time, but I personally don't believe that anyone has to stay like that.
There are tools out there to help us, but generally speaking people will not admit or see themselves as being negative. I am not sure this is something we consciously think about.
Great ideas Ilana! I especially like the idea of setting time each day to worry if need be. I may try this... and I agree that positive people make it easier to relax and not worry.
I've often wondered if worrying was genetic or a learned thing. My mother always tells me how much I'm like my father when it comes to worrying. My guess would be learned.
Worrying is partly genetic and learned behavior that we see from family.
As we grow we emulate the behavior we see, particularly from our parents. Thanks for posting Lisa.