Unfortunately, living in denial can become a permanent fixture. For short periods, not thinking about anything can bring us peace, but there will always come a time where we need to accept and deal with things. But what happens when we live in denial indefinitely?

Living in denial means we have tendencies to isolate and cut ourselves off emotionally from family and friends, from issues that continue to need attention, but being in denial doesn’t mean issues go away.

Issues remain whilst they’re not being dealt with. Being in denial is fine in the short-term when it doesn’t affect anyone else, but some issues not being addressed directly, may also have an affect on family too.

Living in denial shows others a different side to how we cope and although others may empathise, they may also become frustrated that nothing is being addressed, particularly if our issues concern them too.

In the longer term, extended family may choose to walk away, but for an immediate family situation that’s not so easy to do.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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2 comments on “Living in denial”

  1. Denial is a place for some to hide from the ugly things in our life like illness.

    I have seen it in my career as a nurse. People acting like there is nothing wrong until one day it catches up with them and there are the family members that are in denial.

    They too can act like there is nothing wrong with their loved ones and then that just feeds the persons denial, that things are alright when they're not.

    1. I agree that some people's initial reaction is to hide from the truth and use denial as a means to cope. I haven't seen myself, or know of anyone hide behind their illness. From my experience around illness with my mother and now my father they were both keen to know what was wrong with them.

      I think we all deal with illness and situations differently. It's very hard for anyone to accept that their loved ones are going to die. Initially we're in shock, then denial or some may experience both.

      Others may permanently live in that state. It's part of who they are.

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