Mum once told me that we don't go to school to learn how to be a parent. Although that's not an excuse, it is a cop-out, because it means that whatever we do, we're not officially 'responsible.'

Although we may not go to school to learn how to deal with life, the most amazing childhood doesn't give us any guarantees. Life has a knack of throwing things at us, when we least expect it. When parents take the lion share of a child's problems, it makes it even more difficult for us to learn how to deal with our issues as an adult.

Life of 'Hard Knocks'

'Life can be a school of hard knocks.' The education we may get from life is often used as a contrast to a formal education. People may use the school of hard knocks analogy to identify and justify their life, so they can explain the cards life has dealt them. It's okay that we use the analogy, but we should also choose to do something about it.

Justifying ourselves

We may justify our thoughts by convincing ourselves that our life was never going to be any different, but as we may continue to justify our thoughts, we can never change the things we need to change.

We tend to use the analogy in response to others, when they ask about our formal education. We may use it to justify our failings, whilst on a conscious level we continue to ignore things.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

Most people who read this blog

went on to read these blogs next
Date 31 October 2026
Author Ilana Estelle

Being Understood: Growing Up with a Disability

Childhood Experiences and Their Lasting Impact A child's experience of growing up is shaped by more than the care they receive. It is also shaped by how well the people around them understand their needs, recognise their ...
Read more
Date 29 October 2026
Author Ilana Estelle

Autism and the Hidden Challenges of Living Independently

When the familiar world changes, leaving you to navigate life and the overwhelm of autism on your own Thank goodness for this blog – a place to make sense of my experiences. It's been a challenging life. Growing up ...
Read more
Date 26 October 2026
Author Ilana Estelle

Healing Earth Side: Putting Mental Health First

Learning to Live Well With What I Cannot Change. I have come to understand that healing is not always about fixing what is wrong. As my experience shows, some things are beyond our control, and therefore healing ...
Read more
1 2 3 … 691

4 comments on “School of life”

  1. Yeah I think we learn as we go. It's not easy but sometimes (the rare times) it is easy.

    We learn from everybody but ultimately the decision is up to us. Lisa xx

    1. Many of us will learn as we go. Others will know instinctively how to deal with things.

      It's doing what you feel is right, but how we deal with things is ultimately up to us. I think you're right.

  2. Life certainly has a habit of throwing problems our way, but the important thing is that we learn from them.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Subscribe to receive regular updates

Enter your details below to be the first to receive updates on new articles on my blog.