A disability is difficult for the child with the disability. Not only is a disability difficult for the child, but it can be difficult for the family dealing with a sibling or child that is disabled.

I'm not sure how many people consciously stop to think about that concept. Others assume it's business as usual; families just get on as the world goes by.

I am lucky that my disability wasn't debilitating and that I was able to live a relatively normal life, but mentally and emotionally I struggled. I know what it's like not to talk about or deal with emotions around disability.

Some of the details of the Oscar Pistorius’ case has brought back my own experiences and memories of how things were for me growing up with my disability. Like Oscar Pistorius, my emotional problems were overlooked.

No one can live with a disability and that disability not be addressed. Children will have emotions to deal with. It's the nature of growing up, but with a disability so much more is needed.

With a disability, particularly one that isn't addressed it's easy to live with anger. I did. If you're angry as a child, you stay angry as an adult. Those issues never go away. Instead they stay to serve as a gentle reminder we need to deal with them and we need help.

It was obvious and so true for Oscar Pistorius. His anger issues pertaining to his disability and growing up with his disability weren't addressed by the court, but his anger issues were there.

I am saddened by what has happened to him and both families. There are many victims and no winners in this case. My thoughts go out to both families today.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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