Families either work or they don’t work at all. There seems to be no half measures. It’s important how children get to interact with their parents, how individually parents interact with their children, how children interact with their siblings and why sometimes those relationships don’t work.
According to research, jealousy is cited as one of the main reasons family fall out. You're also twice as likely to have had a family feud if you live in the North of England. When it comes to parent and sibling relationships, they either work or they don't. Parents tend to have their favourites, or they'll play one child against another. Money is also another reason cited.
We become aware from an early age just where we stand with our parents and siblings, what the pecking order is. But family can still work, as long, as they change the way they perceive and interact with each other. How we mediate is important. With the right mediation families stay together.
Sadly, family judge, they have opinions, they're controlling, slow to forgive and they interfere. If a family member has a grievance, everyone feels the fallout, drawing comparisons with the animal kingdom who deal with their issues without emotions or baggage.
Families hold grudges that turn into a falling out, a falling out that can last up to 10 years. But that when we take control, egos, opinions and judgments out of the equation, families can be wonderful.
In my experience, families are an odd concept and one which few get right in my opinion.
Having said that, these experiences have shown me how not to do it and I'd like to think I get it more right that wrong.
Tragically, families don't get it right. I think you're right. Family fallouts could be avoided if only family learned how to communicate and mediate, without using control to do it.
Only time will tell if we get the parenting thing right.