We live our lives holding on to resentment and poison expecting others to swallow first, as if our lives depend on it, and yet it’s us who live with the mental and emotional struggles.
But no matter how many things are done to us, we are the authors of our experiences, it is up to us to sort out and create our own new experiences. No matter how unfair life is, we can’t change what happens, we can only change our own perceptions on what happens to us.
We may hold on to poison, because the identity we’ve calved out for ourselves, is usually better than no identity. We know the feelings associated with the identity we’ve created. We unconsciously apportion blame and see that as our justification, because that means the other person isn't off the hook.
As we unconsciously continue to tie them into how they’ve made us feel, we unconsciously tie those feelings back into how we feel, as we continue to justify ourselves. We almost hope that what they’ve done to us will make them struggle. And as we continue to think this way, we’re shaping both our present and future.
We remain reticent in our thinking, because we have something that defines us and that gives us emotional strength. Emotional strength is important but it must be channeled positively and for the right reasons, not simply to discredit others.
Ultimately, we should step into a new version of ourselves, turning poison into nectar, before we drown simply because we’re intent on bringing others down.
The poison you're referring to is highly strategic. It attacks when you're praying for a miracle, or when you're sliding down the wrong path. It may even look like nectar sometimes, until you realize your life is miserable.
It's like having shiny shoes and still seeking atonement for vindictiveness.
Thanks Tim. You're last paragraph sums up your response beautifully. The only problem is that you can't have both or your cake and eat it.
Yes, we can have shiny shoes but we can't seek atonement for vindictiveness at the same time, as if being vindictive is somehow okay because we're seeking atonement.
It's like saying 'I can be vindictive' and still have shiny shoes as long as I atone at the same time. To have our feet in both camps will never work.