Not knowing I struggled with anxiety throughout my childhood years is the hardest thing I’ve had to come to terms with, knowing why has made it all the worse, because it's something I know I will always struggle with.
Anxiety
Although being aware that I deal with anxiety helps to some degree, there is still concern that I have to fit into other people’s expectations of how they think I should deal with it. Where my sensory impairments are responsible and they are the reason for my anxiety, it is important I deal with those first, because those are what present first.
My irrational thinking
It’s my jumbled emotions through my brain impairment that brings about fear where others wouldn’t give the issue a second’s thought and not always being able to find a resolution makes my anxiety worse. But anxiety is worse than just feeling nervous or worrying about a particular issue. For me, if my anxiety isn't dealt with swiftly or effectively, I over-think things and that triggers my irrational thinking.
Anxiety and depression
Generally, where anxiety is left it can develop into depression. For those already dealing with depression, they may also deal with anxiety. One triggers the other. Where some of us may have a predisposition to anxiety and depression through family genetics, my anxiety is because I deal with jumbled emotions, brought about by my emotions being impaired.
However anxiety presents, it's important we learn how to get a grip on it, if we are to have a more calm and peaceful life. I know for me, it's something I shall always have to continue to do.
Yes, it would have helped tremendously if you had known what your issues were, as it would have for so many of us. It makes it so much worse when you're a child and everybody acts like there isn't anything wrong with you, when there very obviously is.
There is nothing worse than being a child and feeling like you're invisible and don't have anyone to ask for help when you're having an issue that you don't know how to deal with it.
I guess that's what causing so much anxiety to the point of paralysis, in trying to figure out how to escape my situation when it would be the intelligent and logical choice which everybody has been telling me.
Getting a grip on my anxiety hasn't always been the easiest thing for me to do, but it's something I will have to learn how to do if I ever want to be able to leave, while I'm still alive.
Thanks Randy. It would. Yes, if your anxiety is coming from your life then perhaps it's time to change certain aspects of your life.
The friends that are telling you what they think you should do, want you to put your happiness first, but until you choose to do that you will continue to live this life, which is adding to your anxiety.
We are very much instrumental in the choices that we make. I hope it won't be too long before you make a decision Randy.
Making a decision should at least help you reduce more of your anxiety.