The World Health Organisation distinguishes four types of child maltreatment, sexual abuse, physical abuse, neglect and emotional and psychological abuse. The "WHO" shouldn't have to distinguish between the four types of maltreatment, we should want to be and do better. regardless of what adults have to deal with, there is no excuse for child maltreatment.
Child Maltreatment
Child maltreatment happens – when children's mental and emotional needs are ignored by their parents and when the parents continue to overburden them with their guilt. Being a parent, it is most important that we put our issues aside and give of our best and continue to make our best work in the interests of children.
Children becoming aware
Children tend to become aware of the family dynamics from an early age, even the ones they can't change – and although they may not always hone-in on their struggles or what they mean, they may still continue to believe unconsciously their parents have their back.
Children and Mental Health issues
It is only when children reach adulthood that the damage done by their parents manifest itself in mental health issues, particularly if they're still exposed to living in a hostile and toxic environment. It is wrong for any adult to behave in ways that are cruel, inadequate, or indifferent to a child’s needs, or continue to exploit children inappropriately. It also goes for institutions.
Children are not always aware of being maltreated, primarily because that goes against the in-built trust they have for their parents. Why would a child question it?
Any type of maltreatment of a child isn't okay as far as I'm concerned. I went through the neglect and psychological abuse which was bad enough.
I would have rather been physically abused since those scars will heal, but the mental and emotional ones never do. I'm still haunted by those echoes from the past that have made my life a living hell that most people don't understand and can't even begin to comprehend.
This has caused me to pass on the neglect of my own daughter, who didn't realise how much she was being used and abused by her own mother which has left her emotionally crippled on top of the CP she has to deal with.
The most I can do now is to work on getting better myself and hopefully one day help her to deal with her own issues too.
Thanks Randy. Agreed, any child maltreatment is not acceptable. Please don't be too hard on yourself.
I know from my own experiences, it's not always easy to understand we have been abused. It's not something we consciously comprehend, unless we look back at the unconscious patterns.
That said, now you are aware you have tried to do something about it and therefore cannot be blamed.
Until your daughter becomes aware of the abuse her mum has put her through, she'll never be able to see what you are trying to do.
All you can do sit back and wait for your daughter to understand her life and what you have tried to do. She'll get there.
I agree, no abuse is acceptable. There are very many facets to abuse and unless we break the cycle the abused often go on to abuse.
A child is an innocent party, unfortunately as adults we don't even recognise abusive behaviour.
You're spot on with your response and it is for those reasons that the cycle of abuse is broken.
Not everyone will understand, see or recognise their own abused behaviour. But as hard as it is to hear, even if someone doesn't see that they have abused, they must accept when other people tell them that is what they have done.
We must learn to get past our own shortcomings. I think that is part of the problem here. There's always something wrong with someone else, never something wrong with us.