We define ourselves by the standards we create. Those standards are a checklist of our behaviour, ethics and morality. Each of our stories contain a set of standards that our parents set for us, which we continue to define ourselves by. The problem is that most of us don’t think about the standards we’re subconsciously living by – and that can be dangerous.
A Checklist we Adopt
It’s a checklist we adopt through our beliefs, our friends, our environment and through our culture. When it comes to Western culture we are also defined by how we are compared to others, how we look and through material gain. We are defined by our careers, by our exams, how many rungs on the corporate ladder we've climbed. We are defined by our self-worth, by monetary gain.
Who We Are Will Change
We should learn to ignore others who define us, or us defining ourselves. We are not our attachments, because who we are will change through our emotional and spiritual growth. Instead, we need to consciously be aware of the things that influence us and understand how those influences work.
Conclusion
Influences can affect how we behave and feel about ourselves, and how we define ourselves, and can set us up for failure. We need to find satisfaction in ourselves, we shouldn't be defined or define ourselves.
I agree that we define ourselves by the standards we create and not by what others think of us, so we must not let anyone define us other than ourselves.
If they define us, we will define others and that is not for us to do.
Thanks. Yes, no one should define or be defined. We are who we are and we should be happy being who we are.
I think the more we are defined, the more others will continue to define us. When we're pigeonholed, we're unfairly described, having only a particular skill, which may be wrong.
As a small child I was continually being pigeonholed. Instead of us doing that, we must look beyond what we see and come to understand.