I remember parents’ evening as if those evenings had happened yesterday. When it came to my turn, teachers spoke to my parents with a smile because I was a pleasant child, but and there was always a but.

My parents never went into what the teachers might have said about me falling behind in class, but one thing was for sure, when I went back in the following morning, it was business as usual, as I continued to lag behind the other 37 children in my class.

Homework

My homework didn’t equate to much. Quality and quantity fell short. I came home with my books, but I had no idea what I was supposed to do with them. My parents didn’t ask, and my books went back into school unchecked the next day, completed or not.

As a child, it was difficult to understand everything about what I saw as my failing. My marked text books usually had ‘see me’ from teachers and nothing changed. In school, I was left to my own devices and I continued to struggle with my learning. Contrast that with my own children’s education and they’re worlds apart.

Although my parents never talked about my disability, I now talk about it. In spirit, mum says she could have done so much more to help me live with a disability I didn’t know I had, but her pains and fears got in the way. If we, as parents, take the time to look, we may see our reflection in our children, and how our decisions impact them. In my case, it would have been helpful.

As parents, we may not get everything right, but it's important to get more right than we get wrong. We need to take the time, to stop, to listen, and to recognise what is needed. It is too late for children, when their parents are no longer living.

Working on ourselves

When anyone passes over, (although it should start earth side of life) they can start to work on themselves, they can come to understand their decisions, and their attention to the lack of detail on this side of life and where they could have done things better.

Where this side of life, parents may have a hard time discussing their emotions, matters of the heart, and failing to deal with things that clearly need to be addressed; on the other side they can with time, see exactly what they should have done. Having spent years observing me through my writing, mum knows and I take comfort in knowing she knows.

My parents' validation

She apologises for my difficulties and asks that I keep my ‘spirit’ strong, while being true to what is right and healthy for me, without me having to justify what I do through my writing. Having now taken responsibility, mum has made her own transitions in ‘spirit’ when through my courage she is also healed. I couldn’t be happier about that.

My father is also happy to sing my praises and proudly owns the fact that I am his daughter. He is immensely proud of my achievements and what I have gone on to achieve. Although he doesn't respond in the same way as mum, he is in no doubt that what I have done through my writing can and will help a lot of people and he couldn't be prouder.

My 'gift to the world'

Yes, he sees me looking out towards the world. He sees I am not confined. He is proud. He smiles as he says that what I do ‘is a gift to the world’.