I have never made my lack of emotional support as a child an issue, because in my mind I was self-sufficient, I got by. But it is because of my lack of support that I know how important it is to have support and be a support to others.
Children will depend on their parents and family to protect them and to provide for their needs. But being a support doesn’t mean we should try and fix other people’s problems. It simply means, we need to be a good listener and have a caring manner. Even if we don’t agree with what someone else says, we mustn’t judge.
Although support is a fundamental need for us all, it becomes much harder to maintain when one person is dealing with physical or emotional issues and the other must understand and act as a support.
How we choose to support is the backbone to all good relationships.
My suggestions below may help:
- Take an interest and try not to criticise;
- Listen to hear, not just to answer;
- Don’t make your opinion bigger than the person’s you’re trying to help;
- Be conciliatory even if you don’t agree;
- It’s not for you to decide what others should do, they must make their own decisions;
- Body language is important. Be careful not to show how you feel, even if you don’t agree;
- Give the other person his or her own space: you don’t need to know everything.
Relationships cannot survive well without good support being in place. But to have that we must first be able to listen.
Support should always be given in a caring and nurturing way, so that others don’t feel compromised. It is an important part of the infrastructure that makes up a loving and caring family.