Loss is complicated, it’s complex. It feels and looks different to everyone. When it comes to loss not everyone will grieve. Others who do grieve may not grieve the person they’ve lost, but the intricate, ever-winding experiences that person leaves behind.

Relationships are complex

Relationships are complex and they are different to each of us. Each of us will view and take something different from the same relationship. Around loss, some of us may cope better than others. But loss is complicated because it’s never straight forward, particularly in the early days of separation when emotions are already running high.

Loss can be debilitating

A loss can also be debilitating, particularly when adjustments need to be made. You can’t go back because that time has passed, and you can’t move forward until you start to feel mental and emotionally better.

Grief takes adjustment

Grief takes an emotional adjustment, loss even more when you’re dealing with separation. Where grief to a loss gets complicated, and painful emotions are long-lasting you may have trouble emotionally getting back into your life.

Accepting loss

But it is important to try to accept the reality of your loss; allowing yourself to accept the experience of how you feel and accept it may take time to work and adjust through your experiences of loss. Adjusting to a new reality can make the loss more complicated.

It is easy to ruminate. It’s ruminating that changes the way we feel, particularly when we may begin to see loved ones differently.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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